#dean got himself a family and didn't even realize it

[profoundbondfanfic]

Hey I have been looking for Dark Dean and Castiel fics where Dean is OBSESSED with Castiel do you have any recommendations?

Hey hey! Sorry for the delay, but I hope these recs are welcomed now just in time for Halloween.

A bit of a warning though -- some of these fics get really dark and involve very intense subjects so pls mind the tags before reading these.

all that’s sacred comes from youth by fullvoid (Mature, 8k words)

Teenage Dean has a dark, possessive streak he hides well. But when he and Cas agree to get married at age 35 if neither of them has by then, he finds he can't quite just leave it at that and spends years stalking Cas from the shadows and sabotaging every relationship he starts. Or Dean, in love with his best friend Cas and obsessed with a pact they made when they were 17 years old, gets rid of his boyfriends one by one through escalating means.

Between Love and Agony by Duckyboos (Explicit, 53k words)

Dean Winchester is in love. Like, bonafide heart eyes and deep sighs, hung-the-moon love. There's just one problem: the lucky guy is his husband's identical twin, Castiel. The two of them have been having a kinky affair for years, burrowing under each other’s skin and setting up camp. Which is why, after Castiel goes missing, Dean’s about ready to tear the world apart looking for him. When Castiel eventually returns to him, he’s been through literal hell, managing to drag himself out, bloody and raw, for Dean. Together, they discover a way to make Castiel whole again — though the price will be gruesome… and there will certainly be hell to pay.

CONventional Psychopathy 'Verse by Mayalaen (Explicit, 441k words)

Castiel Novak is a Cleaner. One of the agency's best. He and his Handler, Dean Winchester, have a high success rate in a world where the worst criminals aren't imprisoned for their crimes, but instead are captured by licensed serial killers who dispose of them, doing what they do best while getting paid for it. Cas doesn't form attachments, doesn't leave himself open for a risk like that, but Dean wormed his way into Cas' life and into his house. Does Dean realize what falling in love with a serial killer really means?

Do Anything For You by ImYourHoneyBee (Explicit, 7k words)

“How’re you feeling?” his earlier worry and fear have faded into the background because of how freaking good Jimmy looks right now, but that’s the thing to ask. Besides, even if he was planning on killing him soon, propriety has to be observed. Dean has a reputation to uphold as a fine, upstanding citizen in this city. Patrick Bateman wishes he was as smooth as Dean is. “Better than the guy who hit me,” Jimmy tells him with uncharacteristic bluntness, nodding toward the curtained-off bed, “I overheard the doctors saying he flatlined around the same time I did.” “Oh shit,” Dean says, glancing over to try and mask the sick roil that sets up shop in his stomach. “He make it?” The ghost of a smile plays over Jimmy’s chapped lips, “He’s in a better place now.” x The one where Cas's soul takes over Jimmy's body.

Free to Be You and Me by jhoom (Explicit, 49k words) --- This says incomplete but it's a satisfying ending so we think the author just didn't close it out.

Dean lost his parents in a fire when he was younger, and he’s never been the same since. Based on the prompt: "I was ten years old when I witnessed the murder of my entire family. The police told me that the person I saw commit the crime was a figment of my imagination - a result of the trauma - but I couldn’t let it rest. In a strange way, they saved me - with everyone else gone I might have gone to pieces, but I HAD to find the killer, so I held it together, I got through school, I rose through the ranks of detective, and now finally, finally, I’m on their trail. I have to find them. I have to meet them. I have to tell them that I love them."

Hello Night by almaasi (Explicit, 11k words)

Demon!Dean/Priest!Cas AU. Castiel summons Dean to the crossroads, and he only wants one thing: him.

Make Me by saltnhalo (Explicit, 4k words)

A beautiful man on a motorbike shows up at Castiel's business with a t-shirt that says Make me and a smirk that could put the devil to shame. How is Castiel possibly meant to resist?

Monsters by Miss_Lv (Explicit, 11k words)

Castiel prayed to God, to help them, to save them. God never answered. But Dean did. It was the monster who saved Castiel, not God.

Seven Heavenly Virtues by Strixes (Explicit, 108k words)

The Mark of Cain turns Dean into a demon once more. Dean is adamant that this time he's found a way to keep the mark under control but it's clear to Castiel that Dean needs help if he's going to fight the mark's influence until they can find a way to get rid of it. More than anything Castiel wants to save him, but if anyone needs to be saved it's Castiel as he tries to navigate where Dean ends and the Mark of Cain begins.

The Prodigal Bond by vipjuly (Explicit, 68k words)

In exchange for conjugal visits, Dean Winchester gives FBI Supervisory Special Agent Castiel Novak all the dirt he needs to bring down national crime rings. It's a tit-for-tat situation; primal, animalistic, and probably ten kinds of illegal. When a case is revealed to be closer to Castiel than what he considers safe, he and Dean must work together to make sure that Crowley goes down for good. Will Castiel be able to keep Dean at arm's length, or will the charming convict finally get what he's been asking for all along? What lengths will Castiel go to... at Dean's behest?

These Violent Delights by SomethingBlue42, xfancyfranart (Explicit, 43k words)

Dean Winchester, war vet and functioning alcoholic with a life that’s going nowhere, takes a job at Baltimore Hospital for the Criminally Insane. Dean had never heard of Dr. Castiel Novak notorious serial killer and cannibal given he’d been dodging bullets and performing field triage during Novak’s sensational trial. Seasoned orderly Rufus lays out the rules: Do not touch the glass. Do not approach the glass. You pass him nothing but soft paper - no pencils, no pens. Use the sliding food carrier only, no exceptions. If he attempts to pass you anything, do not accept it. And most importantly: don't tell him anything personal. But Dean was never much for following the rules and Castiel has a way of making Dean feel like he isn’t the grade-a loser his hot-shot FBI agent brother thinks he is. Then, a senator’s daughter goes missing, setting forth a chain of events that put Dean on a path that forces him to choose where his loyalties lie and just how far he’s willing to walk into the dark.

This Tainted Love You've Given by LazarusRose, xfancyfranart (Explicit, 17k words)

Everyone has their hobbies—Dean’s just happens to involve a lot more blood and screaming than most people’s. And sure, maybe murder isn’t the nicest way to blow off steam, but Dean’s always thought that being nice is overrated anyway. His latest victim, a pretty guy with startling blue eyes, should be nothing special, just another nameless body on Dean’s list. But then, after Dean kills and buries him, he turns back up at Dean’s house again the next day. What’s a guy to do when they’ve accidentally gotten an immortal witch convinced that they’ve got some kind of profound bond?

Happy Halloween!!👻🎃

[scoobydoodean]

WAIT WAIT WAIT pleaseeee expand on sam separating his soul himself??? i’ve literally never heard this before (i really wanna agree cause i just can’t work out how cas just did not realize he’d forgotten sam’s soul)

This is just a pet theory I have. I first suggested it here when talking to Shal about Bobby not clocking Sam as soulless. The TL;DR is that Sam has a tendency to create emotional distance to protect himself from grief and other painful emotions. Shal's careful examinations of scripts reveal that it's even in the script direction when Mary dies that "Sam disassociates". In 8.08, Sam is paralleled with Fred, who disassociated to deal with grief (I talk about Sam distancing himself from his emotions in season 8 more largely here). I've been slowly collecting (when I remember) little bits and pieces around this idea that Sam tries to distance himself from his emotions in the tag #i just stopped—named that because of 11.11 when—after being confronted by Lucifer—Sam apologizes for leaving Dean in Purgatory, saying—seeming perplexed by his own actions:

I should've looked for you. When you were in Purgatory, I... I should've turned over every stone. But I didn't. I stopped. And I've never forgiven myself for it.

So this pet theory I have is that in The Cage, to cope with the torture being inflicted on him, Sam simply separated his soul from his body. It was the most extreme possible case of dissociating from his own suffering possible.

6.22 strengthens my belief in this theory because Sam splitting into three pieces is treated as a defense mechanism. It's kind of like an Id/Ego/Superego situation, except that the pieces are soulless Sam, Sam the hunter and family man, and the Sam who remembers hell.

SOULLESS!SAM: Well, your BFF Cas brought the Hell-wall tumbling down and you, pathetic infant that you are, shattered into pieces. (he points at Sam) Piece. (he points at himself) Piece.

SAM: I - I have no idea what you're talking about. SOULLESS!SAM: Why would you? You're jello, pal. Unlike me. SAM: What are you? SOULLESS!SAM: I'm not handicapped. I'm not saddled with a soul. In fact, I used to skipper this meatboat for a while. It was smooth sailing. I was sharp, strong. That is, 'til they crammed your soul back in. Now look at you. Same misty-eyed milksop you always were. That's because souls are weak. They're a liability. Now, nothing personal, but run the numbers. Someone's got to take charge around here, before it's too late. 

Sam and soulless Sam have a power struggle inside Sam's head over who gets control. Soulless Sam is really an enforcer, trying to protect Sam from his worst memories. As we see after Sam kills him:

You think I'm bad? Wait 'til you meet the other one.

Then when Sam finds the other part of himself:

SAM: I have to know what you know. What happened in the cage? TORTURED!SAM: Trust me, you don't wanna know it. SAM: You're right. But I still have to. TORTURED!SAM: Sam, you can't imagine. Stay here, go back, find that bartender, go find Jess, but don't do this. I know you. You're not strong enough. SAM: (exhales) We'll just have to see.

Of course, one could argue that Sam's subconscious creates this scenario with soulless Sam and the Sam who remembers hell because Death told them Sam would crumble and Soulless Sam was scared of the fallout of having his soul reinstalled. But idk. I feel like it goes deeper than that, and tortured Sam and soulless Sam's attempts to protect Sam from the truth feed into that to me.

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

Things Learned and Unlearned Ch. 2

Series Summary: Y/N has spent her life trying to outrun her mother's reputation. When she meets the rich and successful playboy, Dean Winchester, how quickly can he get her to stop running?

Pairings/Characters: Dean Winchester x Y/N, Sam Winchester, Jessica Winchester, Lucy Winchester (OC)

Warnings: Each chapter will have it's own warnings, but there will be smut, seduction, virgin!reader, playboy!dean, Edwardian era BS attitudes surrounding sex and women. (Technically it's set in 1900 and the Edwardian era started in 1901, but you get it.) Angst, Fluff, all the good stuff that regularly pops up in my series. 😁

Chapter Warnings: Nothing major. Kissing. Pining. Lusting. 😁

Word Count: 5,192

A/N: Here is the next chapter. I hope you're enjoying this 1900s Dean x Reader AU. Thanks for all your kind words about Ch. 1.

Series Master List || Main Master List || Tag Lists

Dean visited the library at the same time for the next two days, hoping Y/N would be spending Lucy's nap time there again. But she didn't show up. He saw her only briefly when she came to dinner every evening. However, she rarely spoke and left quickly at the end of the meal. She was always polite, always answered any question put to her, but mostly she kept her head bowed demurely and stayed silent.

On the evening of his second day, as soon as Y/N was out of the dining room, Jessica walked up to Dean and punched him in the arm.

He shot her a glare as she moved off to help Sophie, their kitchen maid, clear the table. "What was that for?" he asked.

"What did you do to her?" Before he could defend himself Jessica put a hand up to stop him. "No, don't try to look innocent. Before your arrival we were making headway with Y/N. She'd been so painfully shy when she first got here. It was all, 'Yes, Sir’ and ‘Yes, Ma'am'. She'd finally begun to call me Jessica, but now I'm back to being Ma'am. And she barely speaks now! What did you do?"

Dean shrugged and gave his most innocent look. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Jessica rolled her eyes and moved off to the kitchen. Sam watched his wife walk out of the room before confronting Dean.

"Look, you know I don't tell you how to live your life. I walked away from Father's life, and you took it onto your shoulders. You get all the pressure, all the societal gossip, all the responsibility of keeping the family business afloat. For all of that, I figure that you're entitled to do as you choose in your personal life." 

Sam ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "But Dean, don't mess around with this woman. She's kind and innocent and she doesn't deserve to be yanked around by you, or left broken-hearted."

Dean frowned. Did his brother really think he went around ruining women and breaking their hearts? "You wound me, Sammy." He said, only half joking. "I mostly bed bored wives and widows and they all know what the situation is. I don't go about my life leaving a trail of broken hearts behind me."

"How would you know?" Sam asked, sarcasm thick in his voice. "You never look back to notice." When Dean started to try and defend himself again Sam just shook his head. "Look, I just mean, don't treat Y/N with disrespect."

"Of course not." Dean said. But as Sam left to set up their card game in the parlor, Dean realized he had been disrespectful to Y/N. He'd have to track her down tomorrow and rectify that.

To Dean's delight the next day, he found Y/N at the far south end of Sam's property, sitting on a bench in the apple orchard. As he stepped from behind a large stand of trees, he cleared his throat, trying not to startle Y/N again. But she must have heard him coming through the leaves on the ground because she didn't look startled. She looked like a deer in the rifle sights of a hunter. He smiled, trying to put her at ease.

"Good afternoon, Y/N. I'm so glad I found you." He decided to do away with formalities, given the proposition he had planned.

She cleared her throat, but it was still soft and husky when she spoke. "Yes, so nice to see you too, Mr. Winchester. I was just about to head back up to the house, so if you'll excuse me…" She tried to walk briskly past him, but he caught her arm and tucked it into his.

"Wonderful, so was I. I'll walk you up to the house."

She looked like she wanted to argue, her mouth opening and closing several times before simply saying, "thank you" in a small voice. They walked a moment in silence. Then Dean decided to get right to the point.

"I realized that I may have seemed terribly rude the other day. I acted without explaining to you what my intentions were, what they are, I mean."

Y/N looked up at him, her expression surprised and slightly perplexed. "Your intentions?"

"Yes, you see, from the moment I saw you sitting on that bench by the train station, I've known I want to take you as my mistress."

Y/N stumbled, but Dean kept her upright. "Careful." He said as he stopped and turned to face her. "Now, I know that you're an intelligent, beautiful woman. I would never dream of asking you to come away with me if I couldn't provide for you." Dean smiled and began walking again, leading her forward.

"You'd have your own house, of course. I'd give you a household allowance and a clothing allowance. I'd expect you to attend some societal obligations with me. Only the ones where wives aren't present, obviously, but that's still a fair few. It would likely be one a week at least. Other than those obligations, your days would be yours and I would come to visit you a few times a week. I'll always try to let you know of my intentions the day before, but sometimes my schedule can be unpredictable."

Dean stopped again and turned to face Y/N. She stopped when he did, but stayed staring straight ahead. He couldn't tell what she thought of his proposal. He walked in front of her to try and see what her answer might be.

"Do you have any demands you would like to make of me?" He asked, unsure of her feelings.

Her features were flat and expressionless, until she met his gaze. Then he could see that her eyes burned so dark, they looked black. She raised her arm and her palm came down in a fiercely stinging slap across his left cheek. He stood stunned for a moment, before looking back to stare in astonishment at the absolutely furious woman standing before him. Her breasts were heaving, her cheeks were flushed and the anger sparked from her gaze like sparks from a fire. She was magnificent.

She raised her hand to slap him again, but he saw it coming this time and grabbed her wrist, holding tight. She pulled hard against his grip and he let her go, afraid that he'd break the fragile bones he could feel moving under his hand.

Suddenly her beautiful face contorted and she grabbed up her skirts and ran. It took Dean a moment to realize she was crying.

Well, dammit he thought. That did not go the way I planned.

***

Y/N sat in the library the next day alternating between rage and despair.

Clearly she was everything her mother had been. Obviously in spite of everything she'd worked for, the world could still tell she was the daughter of a fallen woman.

Her mother had been the disgraced daughter of an English Lord. She'd been shipped off to America to live with an elderly aunt until she could be safely married off to Y/N's father.

This was information she only learned at the age of sixteen when a so-called friend, Meg, had told her. Meg had tried to hide her glee as she explained to Y/N the reasons why some of the other girls at their boarding school shunned her. The rumors surrounding her mother and her hasty marriage were old, but still circulating.

Y/N had been mortified, but she'd confronted her mother about it at the summer break. Isobel had looked stricken but then said that yes, the rumors were true. She wouldn't talk about it except to say that Y/N should always keep herself pure and chaste. 

She took Y/N by the shoulders. "Your purity, your chastity, it is everything. The pious will tell you that your soul depends on it, but I'm telling you Y/N that not only will your soul suffer if you give in to passion, your life will suffer too. Stay away from men."

It was some of the last advice Isobel had ever given Y/N. Three weeks later, her mother died of blood poisoning after a cut had become infected.

Y/N hadn't known how to feel. She was sad, of course, but she'd barely known her mother, really. Her father had died when she was very young and her mother had been mostly absent, letting first the nannies and then teachers at the boarding school raise her daughter. 

On top of the rumors surrounding her early years, it was suggested by some that after her husband's death, Isobel lived as a kept woman. Y/N wasn't sure exactly what that meant, but she knew by the whispers and slightly curled lips that it was dirty and wrong.

And now she'd been offered the same life.

As she'd listened to Dean lay out his offer, she realized that this must have been what people had meant when they said her mother was "kept". A man had paid for her living expenses in exchange for…for what, exactly? Dean had said that he'd want her to accompany him out sometimes and that he'd visit her.

What would happen during those visits? Whatever it was had to be the reason people had seemed repulsed when they talked about Isobel.

Her mother had money, Y/N always knew that. It was how they afforded their beautiful home and the boarding school that was Y/N's other home. But when she'd been young she'd never thought where the money had come from, she assumed maybe from a trust her father had left.

But of course that was impossible. Her father had owned a modest general store with two locations in the city of New York. He had been firmly middle class, and couldn't have provided that kind of life for them.

When her schooling had ended shortly after her mother's death, she had no marriage prospects and no job prospects either. No one wanted a governess from a questionable past, especially one who was young and beautiful. That's what Mrs. Oliver had told her anyway.

Mrs. Oliver had been her savior. She was an elderly lady who sat on the board of the school and gave large donations. Y/N had met her at some of the school functions, when the girls were trotted out to converse with the patrons and show them their donations were creating lovely, demure young ladies.

Mrs. Oliver had liked Y/N right away. She liked her wit and her kindness and when Y/N left school, she’d offered her a position as her companion. Y/N took the position and counted her lucky stars.

Mrs. Oliver was still sharp and lively even into her seventies and working as her companion had been the happiest Y/N had ever been. She'd worked for Mrs. Oliver for just over five years before the lady passed away peacefully in her sleep.

Y/N had come to work for the Winchesters soon after, thanks to the glowing reference Mrs. Oliver had left for Y/N in her will. Now she'd been a governess for nearly two years, and had begun to believe that maybe she'd outrun her mother's scandalous life. Maybe she wouldn't turn into a "ruined woman incapable of controlling her passions". That was how she'd heard her mother described once.

But no, here she was, acting completely inappropriately with a man she'd only just met. Acting so inappropriately, in fact, that he believed she would welcome being a kept woman.

As she sat in the library, her rage left her and the despair rose again. She was a lost cause. Her soul was obviously already tarnished and if she wasn't careful, her life would be too.

***

Dean had gone to the orchard first, looking for Y/N, before trying the library, so his clothes were damp and his hair was wet from the misting drizzle that was falling. He tried the library as a last hope and almost heaved a sigh of relief as he saw Y/N's form folded into the green chair. 

He knew that Sam and Jessica had taken Lucy to town for a couple of hours to see the circus parade that was going down Main Street before setting up in the fairgrounds. Only the groundskeeper, Kenneth, and Sophie the cook were around. So Dean closed the door and turned the key in the lock. He didn't want to be disturbed.

As he approached her, he could tell that she had been crying. A pain he didn't recognize clenched his gut and he realized it was remorse. He had been the one to make her cry. He had to fix it.

"Good afternoon, Y/N." He said as he took a seat on the couch facing her.

She resolutely ignored him, as if he hadn't even spoken. She wasn't going to make this easy.

"Look," he began, "I can clearly see that I've hurt and insulted you. Please believe that was the last thing I intended. I only meant to show you that I didn't think you were just some easy maid to be tumbled and forgotten. I wanted you to know that I was offering you more. I wanted to provide you with luxury and wealth.”

He clasped his hands together. “I know my brother and sister-in-law pay well but still, a governess' salary isn't much. When we finished our time together, you would have had enough to live on your own quite comfortably. You'd be cared for, and wouldn't have to worry about earning money again. That's what I was trying to tell you. I wanted to offer you so much more than you have now. I thought perhaps you wanted more as well."

She looked up from her lap. Her stony face was still beautiful, even in its sharp, harsh lines. Her gaze scorched him.

"Please, leave. I am rejecting your proposal." Her voice was all ice; it made him long to melt it.

"I gathered that you rejected my proposal when you ran away from me and then refused to come to dinner last night." Sam and Jessica had been sure it was his fault she didn't come down and since he was also sure it was his fault, he didn't even argue very hard.

"I accept your rejection of my proposal. But I don't want to leave. I wanted to talk with you a while."

Y/N just returned her attention to the book she had in her lap. He sighed. He took a chance and moved to kneel on one knee in front of her chair. The closeness had the desired effect of surprising her out of her block of ice.

He took her chin in one hand, lightly, so she could pull away if she wanted to. She didn't.

"Truly, Y/N, I want you to know how sorry I am to have insulted you or hurt you. Please believe that was never my intention."

He saw a slight thaw in her gaze and decided to take it as a win. He didn't want to push his luck so he left the library.

He returned the next day in the hope that she would be there; she was. She was also there the next day and the day after that. The hours between two o'clock and four o'clock quickly became his favorite time of day. Over the three afternoons they spent together the ice in Y/N's smile began to thaw more and more until he was able to pull actual, sweet smiles from her. They were like a prize.

They spent their time discussing books they’d read and loved and explaining only a little bit about their backgrounds - Y/N seemed as reluctant as he was to discuss it. So instead they talked of world events and Y/N described her excitement at the prospect of the World's Fair that was coming to St. Louis in 1904. 

She’d longed to go to the previous World's Fair in Omaha the year before, but of course, she couldn't afford it and Lucy had been too little for Sam and Jessica to want to take her. Y/N hoped that because Lucy would be nearly eight years old by the time the next World's Fair arrived,Jessica and Sam might take them all to St. Louis to see it. When she talked about it, her enthusiasm and excitement made Dean very happy.

After dinner one evening he caught up with her as she left to go to her room in the nursery. He grabbed her hand and pulled her behind a large mahogany bookshelf. She looked surprised and tense. He smiled.

"Run away to the circus with me." It was such a ridiculous request that it shocked a chuckle out of her.

"What?" She asked, her mouth stretching into an adorable grin.

"Come with me tomorrow afternoon. It's the last day the circus will be in town, let's go see it. It's no World's Fair, but it should be fun. It's your day off tomorrow, isn't it?"

"Well, yes, but…"

"Don't say no. Say yes."

She shook her head. "Why are you even asking me if you're just going to answer your own question? Why not just ask yourself to go?" Her voice was teasing.

"I make terrible company."

"You're not being very convincing."

"I'll buy you popcorn."

"Well, that seals it then." Y/N said. "You should have started the request with popcorn."

***

Y/N stood in front of her mirror and contemplated changing for the third time that afternoon. The indigo blue cotton dress she wore now was simple and modest. The puffs on the sleeves weren't too large, which she'd liked a few minutes ago when she'd pulled it on. But now she was wondering if she should have puffed sleeves at all. Did it seem as if she was putting on airs, trying too hard to look like more than a governess? Perhaps she should have just worn the serviceable gray wool she wore during her days with Lucy.

Her opportunity to change ended when she heard the soft knock at the door and Jessica called, "The carriage is ready for you and Dean."

Y/N opened the door and smiled, trying to hide her nervousness. Jessica clasped her hands and brought them to her lips.

"Oh, Y/N, you look so beautiful. That dress is lovely."

"Thank you." Y/N said, suddenly shy. She liked Jessica very much, Sam too. They were both kind, fair, and wonderful employers. She felt as though they could be real friends if they weren't separated by the professional relationship between them.

She wondered what Jessica thought about her stepping out with her brother-in-law. Before she could wonder for very long, however, Jessica linked their arms and started walking Y/N towards the front door. On the way she offered some advice.

"Dean is a good man. You know, he paid for Sam's schooling and helped him start a practice in spite of their father's disapproval. He wanted both his sons to follow in his footsteps and run the business. But Dean knew that Sam's heart lay in the law. So, he defied the old man and took care of his brother." She took a deep breath. "So, please don't think that I'm giving you this warning out of any sort of concern about Dean's honor." 

She stopped just inside the front door. "He doesn't try to ruin women. He doesn't mean to break hearts. He's just…well, he's just him. And although he certainly knows he's more handsome than the devil," she rolled her eyes, "I really don't think he understands the effect he has on women. They fall for him, and he's moved on before he ever even thinks to catch them."

She grabbed Y/N's hand and gave it a squeeze. "I guess I just want you to be careful, and maybe put a bit of a wall up around your heart."

Y/N was blushing, but she nodded. She was way ahead of Jessica. Over the last few days Dean had shown her that he was intelligent, compassionate, sardonic but hilarious, and wonderful with his niece. She'd forgiven him for his proposal, believing that he was truly sorry and that it had all been a misunderstanding. Perhaps the way she'd behaved with him in the library that first day had made him believe she would welcome the offer.

Whatever the case, there had been no more such talk and in all other respects he'd acted as a perfect gentleman.

Did her heart still pick up its pace every time he walked into a room? Yes.

Did her stomach flip and fill with butterflies when she looked too long into his eyes? Yes.

Did her fingers sometimes itch and tingle with the need to reach out and touch him? Yes.

But as long as she didn't give in to her wanton thoughts, she would be fine. Dean was leaving in about a week; she could manage to hold herself in check. She admitted that she was excited for today's outing to the circus, but only because she'd always wanted to see one. It had nothing to do with Dean.

Then Jessica opened the front door and there he stood. He wore a dark gray suit that was tailored to him perfectly. His eyes were more of a mossy green than emerald today, and they were full of good humor. He smiled his dazzling smile at her and her belly was suddenly full of butterflies again.

He offered an outstretched hand for her to take so he could help her down the stairs. She slipped her hand into his and tried to ignore the warmth that spread up her arm because of the simple touch. But the thought came unbidden to her mind that she wanted to feel his hands everywhere. She was horrified and almost turned around to run back inside.

But she didn't. She continued with Dean into the carriage. Kenneth was driving them and he tipped his hat to her as she climbed in. The open air carriage allowed the sunlight to pour over her and she relished the extra days of summer they had been granted.

Dean climbed in and sat beside her. She could feel the hard length of his thigh even through her layers of skirts and petticoats. She tightened her fist around the parasol she carried and tried without success to ignore the feelings that came from sitting next to Dean.

He always smelled like shaving soap, and something very male, almost spicy, a scent that belonged to Dean alone. It never failed to make her salivate and swallow as though she was savoring a tasty treat.

They arrived at the circus grounds and Dean stepped out of the carriage and again offered Y/N a hand to help steady her down the steps in her skirts.

She stumbled slightly on the last step and Dean caught her under her elbow, pulling her into his side to stabilize her. She leaned into him for a moment, her body giving in to the feeling of bliss that came from his arm wrapped around her waist. But quickly, she straightened up and mumbled her thanks before rushing toward the gates.

This may have been a very bad idea.

***

"And the fire-eaters! Did you see them, Dean? I mean, they swallowed fire!" Dean chuckled as Y/N repeated her reverence for the fire-eaters, as she had at least a half a dozen times since seeing them that evening.

The circus had indeed been a lot of fun, much more fun for Dean because Y/N was clearly enjoying herself immensely. There had been acrobats, and jugglers, and a woman who walked on a tightrope. There were musicians and performers of all kinds. There were clowns and games to win prizes. In her purse Y/N carried a small bird made out of wool with real feathers sewn onto it. He had won it for her at a game of ring toss.

The day had sped by and Dean couldn't remember the last time he'd enjoyed himself this much doing something that didn't involve whiskey, women, and cards.

Now he was walking her up the steps of the porch and he wanted nothing more than to extend the evening. So, he didn't go inside immediately, instead he lingered when they got to the front door and he was happy to see she did too.

Some of her elation from the day seemed to slip away and she was shy again. Ducking her head she said, "Thank you so much for taking me, Mr. Winchester. It was a lovely day."

"Mr. Winchester?" Dean said, a reprimand in his voice. "We're not back to that are we, Y/N?" He took a step closer hoping she wouldn't step back. She didn't.

He lowered his voice, almost to a whisper. "May I kiss you goodnight?" he asked, unable to hide the heat in his eyes as he raised her chin with his forefinger.

Her eyes widened. "Why?"

A smile came to his lips. "Because I want to. And, tell me if I'm wrong, but I think you might want me to as well."

"No." she said succinctly and he immediately took a step away from her.

"No." she said again, but grabbed his hand. She shook her head. "I mean, no I want you to."

He frowned, struggling to understand what she was trying to say. She exhaled roughly as though she was exasperated. And then she leaned up on tiptoe and pressed her lips softly and fleetingly against his.

When she pulled away her skin was so red, he could see her blush even in the moonlit shadows they stood in. “I'm so sorry.” She said, clearly flustered. “I shouldn't have done that. I don't know what came over me."

Dean’s grin was wicked. "I know what came over you, it's come over me too. Will you let me kiss you now? And show you?" His voice was husky with his desire and it took all he had not to lean forward, grab her, and crush her lips with his own.

"You already kissed me." Y/N said, confusion on her face. "You just did." It took Dean a moment to realize she was referring to the little light-as-air kiss she'd just given him.

He tried to curb his laughter. "Well, that was certainly sweet, but not the same as me kissing you."

Her brow furrowed. "What do you mean? You just kissed me."

"No, you kissed me."

After a moment's contemplation, Y/N scoffed and looked at him suspiciously. "You kissing me, or me kissing you, it's the same thing. You're just trying to kiss me again."

Dean smiled. "You don't think there's a difference between you kissing me and me kissing you?"

She shook her head, her expression suspicious. "Of course not."

"Would you care to make a small wager on that?

"I don't gamble."

"Oh, this won't be for money. If, once I kiss you, you still think there's no difference, I will grant any request you make of me." Dean paused and heat flooded his hooded gaze. "And vice versa."

***

Y/N stood in the moonlight, staring up at her own ruin and she didn't even try to stop it. She nodded, agreeing to the wager.

Dean reached out and took her hand, shaking on the deal and then pulling her in close. Even in the semi-darkness his green eyes shone, jewel bright. He stood for a moment simply staring at her mouth. The hunger in his gaze made her shiver.

He took her chin in his fingers and leaned close to her, his mouth hovering over hers for what felt like an eternity.

"What are you…" Y/N was incapable of speech. Her heart beat so hard and fast she was sure it would soon burst. "Hurry up." She said, shaken completely.

Dean shook his head slowly. "No." His voice was deep and rough and he drew out the word, so it rumbled up from his chest.

When he was a hair's breadth away from her lips, she put her hands up between them, flat on his chest. The warmth of his skin through his shirt burned her palms.

"I concede." She blurted out. "It's different. It's not…this is different."

Dean's expression was pained. "Do you want me to walk away?"

The part of her mind that was desperately trying to preserve her sanity was screaming at her to say yes. But her body physically revolted at the thought of him moving away now and she shook her head.

"Thank God." He breathed against her lips before finally covering them in a kiss.

Dean's lips were soft and plump, but they pressed firmly against hers, and the pressure made her dizzy. She swayed slightly and Dean grasped her head in his two hands as he deepened the kiss.

She felt him sweep his tongue across her sealed lips, as though he was tasting her, and she gasped. He took advantage of the opening and swept his tongue inside. He tasted like the apple cider they'd drunk earlier; it was warm and spicy, and she reached her own tongue out to explore the taste further.

Dean groaned low in his throat, a sound that made all the hairs on her body stand up and gooseflesh race across her skin. His hands slipped from her head, down over her neck and shoulders. He slid them down to her waist and pulled her against him while he walked her backwards until they were up against the wall of the house.

He pressed his hard body into her, and moved his lips to her neck. Fire exploded along the path his lips had taken and Y/N was suddenly desperate to feel his mouth everywhere.

She was seconds away from asking him for exactly that, when a light went on in the house and they both froze. The light didn't spill onto them and it was extinguished fairly quickly, but it had been enough to bring Y/N to her senses. She stepped to the side, out of the circle of Dean's arms. She was instantly so cold she started to shiver.

She couldn't think what she could possibly say, so she simply rushed toward the entrance. But he caught up her hand just as she reached the door.

"What about my request? I won the bet, remember?"

He stepped up close behind her, wrapping his strong hands around her upper arms, and whispering in her ear. The low rumble caused the shivers to move inside her body so that her insides trembled.

"Come to me tomorrow night, at midnight. The household will be long asleep, but I'll be waiting for you."

He let go of her arms and she ran into the house as fast as she possibly could, before she could agree to the request or deny it. She had no idea which one it would be.

Jensen RPF and Any/All Characters:

Dean Fics Only:

@lyarr24

@lacilou

@deans-spinster-witch

@globetrotter28

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Any/All Fics Regardless of Character or Fandom:

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Everything Incl. Fan Edits:

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[destielfanfic]

Group Ask #213

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And even bigger thanks to all folks who help us to find lost fics! You guys are the real MVPs!!!

Ask #1 ( @miraculousfailure): there’s this fic…#1

I’m looking for a fic where Dean is dating Lisa and they move into a house with Ben next to Cas who is married with a kid and a baby on the way. Dean and Cas immediately become best friends. I believe that his wife ends up dying after giving birth. She is a painter in the fic. Dean and Cas get matching tattoos in it at one point. The fic is pretty long. Probably 100k+. Would appreciate finding this so much! Found by @chiops256 and @caseyjw1973! So it Goes by raiseyourpinky [NC-17, 236,500 word count] Dean Winchester has finally bought his white picket fence dream house for his girlfriend Lisa and their son Ben. On top of living in the perfect neighborhood, they now have the best neighbors, the Novaks. Castiel and Amelia Novak are awaiting their first baby, Claire. They’re in love and are not afraid to show it. When their new neighbors move in next door, they become practically family. It feels as though nothing could ruin the ultimate domestic bliss Dean and Castiel have achieved. Until it all goes to hell. Then the two of them will be the only ones left to pick up all of the broken pieces and keep each other moving forward. Dean and Castiel soon realize that the only thing stronger than tragedy and pain is the love that they have for each other. Unfortunately, the fic has been deleted by the author.

Ask #2 ( @loveagoodstory2 ): there’s this fic…#2

Hello I’m looking for a one shot please. Dean is an omega and works the night shift in an office building. He smells Cas scent and loves it they start leaving notes for each other and Cas leaves Dean his tie (scented by him Completely 😉) Found by @caseyjw1973! Scent of an Accountant by Andromytta, nealinor [NC-17, 7,000 word count] Omega Dean Winchester has taken a temporary position as a security guard in a high rise office building. His first night on the job, he finds one particular office suffused with a scent that fascinates him. Fascination builds and soon Dean crosses into the office space of an unknown alpha. The one thing he didn't consider: what would happen when the alpha scents him in return.

Ask #3 (Anon 1 ): there’s this fic…# 3

I'm looking for a fic where Dean and Cas first meet while having a threesome with Lisa -- there's a followup fic where Dean and Cas reunite after many years, with Dean now out of the closet and eager to pursue a relationship with Cas. It was on AO3, though not sure if it's still there. Found by @kazshero and @chiops256! Light Me Up series by tricia_16 [NC-17, 219,000 word count, 3 parts] Summary of the part 1 - In a desperate attempt to save his dying relationship with Lisa, Dean Winchester agrees to invite another man into their bedroom. He’s always considered himself to be completely straight... so why does being with this Cas guy feel so good?

Other requests

Ask #4 - our follower is looking for a possibly deleted fic, “Castiel Takes Care of Dean Winchester” by asexualclassicist on AO3.

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Ask #6 - our follower is looking for a possibly deleted fic “Castiel’s Scars” by Martypom.

Ask #7 - our follower is looking for a possibly deleted fic "Hell On Wheels" [M, 34,750 word count]

It takes a village to find a lost fic, every reblog is appreciated! All 3 fics have been found!!! Great job, team!

[rainbowsndshitig]

Castiel and his grief (angst drabble)

Just a quick a/n: I got some inspiration from some pins on Pinterest but for the life of me I can't all find them, but if I can I'll update this with all them at the bottom <3 thank you, enjoy

"Cas will you just- shut up for once?!"

Dean glared at Castiel, his shoulders tensed and drawn up near his face, his face scrunched slightly in annoyance before falling in realization at what he'd said.

"No, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, you know we're working on a hard case, I'm just stressed, please-"

Castiel stood, staring straight forward, unsure of what to say. A wave of this immense… Feeling? Washed over him, making him feel like he was going to be knocked back by its force.

Was this how humans felt? Was this anger? Was this finally what sadness felt like? He had previously known what it was like to be betrayed but not like this. Not like this. Not by his boys. Not by his boy. Not by HIS Dean. His head shook from side to side slowly in a 'no' signal. His hands curled into fists slowly and tightened so tightly they started shaking and felt as if he wasn't even making a fist at all. His jaw tightened and he felt his brows furrow.

His throat and chest felt tight, his eyes dry, his breathing was shaking. Castiel didn't understand. What was this? Why was his body having such a reaction? Yes, he had cried, tears had fell from his eyes, but not in this manner. He felt extremely uncomfortable.

"No. That… That isn't acceptable"

Castiel lowered his gaze to the floor as Dean walked toward him in a rushed manner, only to be too late, Castiel had left to be at a field with flowers and such for a moment of fresh air.

And that memory of emotion, the first of that intensity, caused by something he couldn't remember, brought a sad smile to Castiel's lips as he swallowed dryly. That was years ago, everything is different now.

He was sitting in a rusted, broken down and now nature reclaimed car, that once was loved by the two humans he cared for most. The two humans who now resided in the kingdom from which Castiel originated, Heaven. He smiled and imagined the boys in the front seats, remembering all the drives they had been on. He missed the missions.

Later, he returned to their home, The bunker. The home they all once shared, Before everything ended. He'll have to force himself to smile and remember they earned it, they earned their peace. He'll have to force himself to realize there isn't anything he can do anymore, because he isn't an angel anymore.

To be honest with himself, he didn't know which was harder to come to terms with. Losing the men he was closest with, or knowing he couldn't go up and be up with them, because even if he tried it wouldn't work out.

He missed Dean's laugh, left with only the vague fading echoes from his memories. He missed Sam's caring nature. He missed seeing the two "arguing" in the kitchen. Castiel missed it all, everything. He cant lie, he didn't have the same relationship with Sam as he did with Dean, but he still missed Sam regardless. If he could give it all up to go back to that first night and do it all over again, knowing it would end the same, he would do it just for the sake of being with them again.

They were real, and they were loved, Castiel was loved and they were his family, and now they're gone.

"I'm always happy to bleed for the Winchesters."

Even if he never got anything in return, because being with them was return enough.

One of the images I could find! ↓

[marginofthought]

Happy Mommy Sam Monday! What are your thoughts on Dean accidentally getting Sam pregnant at some point in Season 2? How would it change the plot?

Happy Wincest Wednesday! So sorry, finally got time to answer now.

Well honestly in my opinion it happened in playthings because c'mon that puppy dog look? Who wouldn't want to do whatever he asked for.

It's been a while since I've seen the second season but Sam would probably feel so unclean with it. His visions were already fucking with his head and even while he didn't know that it was the demon blood in him, he felt unclean and wrong. He'd probably try to take care of it, or what he thought it was, alone at first. Try to purge it until he finally understood that it was a baby. And well with no one else but his brother fucking him...

I think Sam would try to keep it a secret, not wanting to be even more of a burden to Dean. Key word being "try". In the end Dean would find out, maybe by himself or maybe Sam wasn't as sneaky as he thought.

Dean would freak out, probably get pissed of for a while until he would realize that this meant they weren't the last Winchesters afterall.

He'd also get protective and possessive with it, even more so than usual. He'd try to lock Sam up, keep him away from everything, especially whatever his visions were telling him.

Sam wouldn't let it, would fight him on every decision and I think it would drive a wedge between them until Sam would snap and escape while Dean wasn't looking. He just wanted to try and help whoever he saw in his vision but ended up in Cold Oak, just like Azazel wanted.

And well we all know how that ended.

Dean, I think, wouldn't even let Sam's body get cold before he made a deal if he was pregnant. No way. He'd sell his soul immediatly, probably entered an even worse deal in order to save the baby too. He wasn't going to let another Winchester die, not again and definitely not two. He'd lost enough family, wouldn't waste a second to sacrifice himself.

Instead of Sam waking up alone, he wakes up to Dean talking to his belly, praying the Demons kept the end of their deal.

[sammysmaddy]

Normal (Winchesters x Reader) - Part Five

Summary: Growing up as the baby of the Winchester family led you to be constantly guarded. Soon enough, you start to learn what's normal between families and what's not.

Characters: Sam, Dean, mentions of Brother!Dean x Sister!Reader, mentions of Brother!Sam x Sister!Reader, mentions of Dad!John x Daughter!Reader

Warnings: angst, mentions of manipulation, Sammy makes a very big realization, mentions of incest.

W/C: 3k+

Normal Masterlist

Masterlist

Dean was a mixture of angry and confused but above all that, he was scared. Sam hadn't said anything about catching Dean kissing his baby sister and Dean wasn't sure if he wanted that conversation to occur or not. 

Dean wasn't sure if Sam would be upset or angry with him, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to figure that out. There was the possibility that maybe Sam thought that Dean had forced himself onto her, but Dean could deal with Sam. Dean, however, wasn't sure if he could handle the wrath of John if he ever found out.

Sam said he didn't care, he didn't even seem too fazed by the entire scene in general, but there was no telling how Sam actually felt. 

It could be that Sam said what he said only so that he could get Dean and Y/N to leave the party. Maybe Sam didn't actually mean it. Maybe he was bottling up his emotions, upset for Y/N, maybe he even wanted to kill Dean, but he was hard to read. 

Sam was always good at hiding his emotions, all except around Y/N, and nobody really knew how to get through to him. Dean didn't know if he should have left it up in the air, or if Sam was even worried about it in the first place, but Dean felt guilty and he had to stop the truth from reaching John.

John would kill Dean if he were the one to have caught him. Pressing Y/N against the wall, towering over her body, kissing her until his lips went numb, touching all parts of her body with his large hands. John would lose his cool, and Dean was absolutely sure of it. 

John would probably scold him for the rest of eternity, tell him how bad of a brother he was- say that he took advantage of her, and Dean couldn't afford anything but praise from John. 

Dean had always been the best under pressure, his reflexes were arguably even better than John's, he was the better investigator, the better everything when it came to hunting. That's the way that John had raised him. 

John wanted Dean to be like him. Be a hunter. Risk his life every day for the wellbeing of others. And Dean was exactly that. If John ever found out about what Sam saw, Dean was afraid that he would never be looked at the same again. 

But, what about John?  Where had John been for the past hour? Y/N wasn't home and she's the one who rode with him in the truck. 

Y/N was the one who accidentally told Dean, and although he didn't have much information, he knew that something was going on between the two of them. 

Was John hurting her? Did Y/N tell him about what Dean had done? Did she know that it wasn't normal to be with your father like that? It wasn't right and as much as Dean's perverted mind wanted for her to stay so innocently unaware, she needed to know the truth. 

That started with coming clean to Sam. 

"Where are they? It's been over an hour," Dean asked cooly, trailing his way into a very uncomfortable conversation. 

Dean felt as though he couldn't openly bring up the situation that had occurred earlier, but he was nervously biting his tongue for Sam to.

"Don't know, man," Sam shrugged his shoulders, eyes glued to some book, and Dean sighed aloud. 

Sam was being dry and even though Dean had only made one attempt, he knew that sooner or later he would have to bite the bullet. 

"It's late and Dad wasn't exactly sober, you think she's okay?" Dean asked Sam, but he shrugged his shoulders again. 

Dean frowned to himself, upset that Sam didn't seem to be too worried, and continued to ask questions. 

"What if he got into a car crash or something, Sammy? What if he passed out in the parking lot? Y/N doesn't know how to drive." Dean questioned but he didn't believe any of it was true. 

He was almost certain that they were doing other things.

What if John got upset with her? Dean should have never left her alone with him- he should have never even taken her to that party. How could he have been so stupid? 

Dean wished he could take it all back, even the kiss that he had been wanting to steal from her for years now. He wished that he could have protected her, that he never got her into trouble. 

Dean knows first-hand what happens when John gets angry, especially when drunk, and he would never dream of any of that happening to her. But then again, Y/N never talked about John badly. 

Y/N practically viewed John as a God, he's all that she's ever known, and she didn't know any better. Dean was sure that she didn't know that incest wasn't socially or morally acceptable. 

Dean figured that because it was beneficial for John, John would probably never tell her the truth.

"Dean, they're fine. Y/N has a phone, she knows when to call us, and for Dad? He's driven so many times drunk that he's forgotten how to drive to drive sober. I'm sure it's nothing, maybe they're getting food." Sam answered, looking up from his book and giving Dean an assuring smile. 

Dean's frown deepened, he just wanted for Y/N to be okay. If Sam was hellbent on them being fine, Dean had to address the elephant in the room.

"Can we talk about it?" Dean asked, deepening his voice to seem like it wasn't a big deal. 

Dean knew it was. He knew that maybe Sam would never look at them the same again. He knew it was wrong, but God- he had wanted to kiss her for so long. 

Sam looked up from his book, looking at Dean nonchalantly, almost like he didn't know what Dean was saying. 

"You know what I'm talking about." Dean huffed out, frustrated that Sam hadn't said anything in response.

"For someone wanting to talk about it, you're not very good at admitting what it is," Sam gave him a small, playfully scolding, scoff. 

Dean was trying his best to read Sam but with his snarky comment, he didn't even know where to start. Was he condemning Dean? Did he really not care? Dean didn't know and he needed to.

"I, uh, I kissed Y/N," Dean admitted, a deep blush displaying on his cheeks. 

Dean held his breath whilst he waited for Sam's response. Sam raised an eyebrow at him, Sam's lips curving into a small smile.

"That was a little more than kissing, dude," Sam laughed lightly, no hints of awkwardness in his tone. "I mean, you were practically groping her, pressed up all on her and-"

"Shut up, Sam. I don't want to hear it, I know what I did," Dean cut him off and Sam gave him a small frown. 

Dean didn't want to admit to those things, to the things that made his stomach bubble with an equal amount of guilt and arousal. He didn't want Sam to know that he could think that way about his baby sister.

"I mean, if I hadn't gotten there in time, how far would it have gone?" Sam asked, leaning back into the wooden chair, and Dean gulped nervously. 

All the way, was Dean's initial reaction- but he couldn't admit that. Dean didn't want to even admit that to himself. 

Sam was practically teasing him at this point, making Dean much more anxious than needed.

"I don't know what got into me. I'm sure it was just the alcohol," Dean played it off, skipping the question completely. 

It was a lie, though. Drunk or sober Dean thought about his hands all over her, alcohol just amplified his concepts. Sam shrugged his shoulders, lending Dean a small smile. 

"You've never thought about it?" Sam questioned playfully. 

Dean's eyebrows furrowed in response, frowning a bit at the inquiry. It was almost painfully evident that Sam was scrutinizing Dean for getting caught in the act and it made Dean's face heat up even more. 

"Never thought about what?" Dean asked in return, confused and wondering why Sam didn't seem upset. 

"Y/N, I mean, in that way," Sam confirmed, looking at Dean with wide and examining eyes. 

Dean frowned, knowing that Sam would only ask that question if he too had thought about it. Dean was also upset by his own answer because he thought about Y/N every second of the day. Dean practically lived in his head which was a sick fantasy land, full of him and Y/N being together in every way possible. 

"Are you serious?" Dean scoffed, but the silence that followed after and Sam's gaze made him swallow hard. "No, Sam. I haven't." Dean put his foot down and Sam looked surprised. 

"You sure?" Sam questioned with an eyebrow raised and Dean nodded his head. "You're a bad liar, Dean," Sam scolded, a smile sprawled across his face as he looked back down into his book. 

"Have you?" Dean asked and Sam shrugged his shoulders in return. "I gave you a real answer, now I deserve the same." Dean huffed out, getting a little agitated by how lightly Sam was taking the entire situation. 

"No, you gave me an answer but not a real one," Sam shrugged, looking back up at Dean. "You answer truthfully and I will follow suit." Sam raised his eyebrow at Dean. 

Dean knew he wasn't exactly the greatest at hiding things and Sam's inquisitive nature didn't help. 

"I don't have to answer to you," Dean rolled his eyes and Sam didn't seem to care as his eyes dipped down once again. 

But, Dean needed to know Sam's- he needed to know that Sam wasn't the only perfectly sane person in this family. Based on Sam's steady flow of questions, Dean was almost sure Sam felt the same way about Y/N. 

"Seriously, where are they?" Dean questioned, flipping the subject back to John, and sighing frustratedly as he sat down on the edge of the motel bed. "It's three a.m." He added, looking at his watch. 

Dean was still dressed from the party, anxiously awaiting for the two of them to get home, and couldn't bring himself to not watch the door. He needed to know that she was okay.

"How much you wanna bet that Y/N fell asleep and he just doesn't wanna wake her up? It's probably nothing," Sam replied, however, Dean noticed how his face contorted. 

Dean couldn't read Sam all that well, but he knew at that moment that Sam was hiding something. 

"You don't find that weird? He'd never do that for us," Dean said, trying to catch Sam's eyes as they avoided his. 

"Yeah, well, we're not Daddy's little girl, are we?" Sam scoffed in return, but it was far from his regular scoff. 

Sam's voice shook nervously and Dean was taking whatever he could read off of Sam. Sam was a good liar, but Dean was too desperate to not pick up on every single sign that Sam gave him. Did Sam know about Y/N and John too?

"I mean, if that were true, don't you think he'd be parked in the parking lot?" Dean asked, standing up. 

He walked over to the curtains, pulled them open, and found no signs of John's truck anywhere. Dean knew exactly what was happening, obviously not to its full extent, and he found it weird that Sam wasn't more on edge. 

"They've got to be up to something," Dean added, looking back at Sam. 

"What are you suggesting, Dean?" Sam gulped nervously, frowning at Dean slightly, and it made his blood boil. Sam did know.

"Stop that," Dean growled, turning to face Sam. 

Sam's eyebrows crimped immediately at Dean's change of tone, looking more and more anxious as the seconds passed by.

"Stop what?" Sam frowned in return, looking genuinely curious.

Dean knew by this point that it was all just an act. With all of those questions about Y/N and the way Sam didn't seem to care where she was, Dean knew that Sam's story didn't add up. He either knew as much as Dean did or he was trying to cover his tracks.

"Stop acting stupid, Sam. Tell me what's going on," Dean pried, glaring at Sam up and down. 

Dean just wanted some clarity from Sam and it was aggravating that he was only getting bits and pieces. 

"Look, I'm sure it's nothing," Sam offered, dumbing down the situation, and looking back down to avoid Dean. "Like I said, they're probably getting food or something."

"When is it ever nothing?" Dean scoffed and Sam shrugged his shoulders. 

Every part of Dean told him that Sam knew everything, even more so than he knew. After a long few seconds of bitter silence, Dean had to ask. 

"Do you know?" Dean asked in a way that Sam could only become confused or simply nod his head 'yes'. 

Sam did the latter, looking up with wide eyes at Dean. 

"You know too?" Sam asked, his face pale like he had just seen a ghost. 

Dean nodded his head and they both struggled to find the words that came next. 

"Did Dad tell you?" Dean questioned and Sam shook his head immediately. 

"No, I just figured it out," Sam answered honestly. "Did he tell you?"

"Hell no," Dean scoffed, acting like the same question he asked Sam was stupid. "Y/N told me one night." He added on and Sam nodded his head, not knowing what to say. "Have you, uh, ever, you know, with her?" Dean stuttered and Sam continued to nod his head. 

Although Dean was being hypocritical, he felt the anger course through his veins. Dean couldn't tell if he was upset because it was immoral or because Sam and John had never mentioned that to Y/N. 

"Sammy, you've gotta stop." Dean sighed, turning back to sit on the edge of his bed. 

"Dean, it's not like that," Sam frowned, closing his book for good as he decided to face Dean. 

"Then what is it like, Sam?" Dean asked, anger lacing his tone as Sam tried his best to come up with a viable answer. 

"She, uh, she came on to me," Sam said in a small voice and Dean began to rub his face with his calloused fingers. 

"She doesn't know that it's wrong. You're supposed to be the one who tells her these things, you were supposed to be the person protecting her. You know Dad doesn't give a fuck if she doesn't know it isn't normal. That's our job." Dean raised his voice slightly, making Sam scoff in defense. 

"So, tonight was normal? Kissing her at a party and pressing her against a wall is normal? I know my sister, Dean, and she wasn't sober, so you tell me who's more screwed up: You or Dad? Because at least she initiated it with me." Sam raised his voice in return.

"How can you be fine with this? I'm not justifying what I did tonight, Hell, I'll even apologize for it- but you? How can you sit there and explain to me that it was okay? Don't you feel guilty?" Dean continued to scrutinize. 

"Sam, I kissed her, touched her up and down, and lord knows what you've done to her. This stuff isn't okay. Especially with her, she barely even knows what sex is." Dean frowned, wondering why he seemed to be the only one who felt guilty. 

Sam was a smart kid, he should probably feel more guilty than Dean did, but Sam didn't seem to care. 

"But she let you," Sam reasoned and Dean raised an eyebrow. "She let you kiss her. She wanted it, Dean." Sam made up for Dean's actions, seemingly trying to get Dean to loosen up. 

"It's not about that and you know it," Dean growled, growing more upset with Sam with each little comment. 

Dean closed his eyes for a second, attempting to collect his cool because he was sure that Sam didn't think about how she didn't know any better. Sam wasn't the type to purposefully manipulate people, especially Y/N. 

Dean knew that Sam loved Y/N more than anything in the world, and he knew that Sam would never hurt her. 

"It's not your fault, Sammy. She came on to you- I get it, but if you continue, you better make sure she knows. You can't keep using her like that. She doesn't know it's wrong."

"I'm sorry," Sam apologized in a small voice, looking ashamed of himself. 

Sam was calming down too, starting to finally understand where Dean was coming from.

"It's not your fault, I told you that. It's Dad, he's the one who should have told her if he started all that stuff. You just didn't think about it that way, did you?" Dean sighed and Sam shook his head, beginning to look upset.

Now, just like Dean, Sam was beginning to feel sick within himself. He felt guilty for all of his times with her in the shower, all of the mornings when John would be on a hunt and Dean would be out getting breakfast, and, especially, the nights when John and Dean were on hunts. 

When Y/N was the one to advance on Sam, Sam didn't think twice about whether it was immoral or not because of how much he loved Y/N. All of those months of being ignorant were catching up to Sam.

When Sam did finally question, going back and forth between feeling guilty and soaking up the pleasure he felt with Y/N, he justified that Y/N must have known the implications behind their relationship. Sam just figured that it was common knowledge, but maybe he had learned it in school somewhere. Y/N never got that opportunity. 

By the time the whole sex and incest jokes were being passed around, Y/N was 'homeschooled' and only stayed at the motel. She never got the chance to socially develop- find out the difference between right and wrong, and Sam should have realized that. 

As Sam and Dean sat in silence, contemplating their own acts, Dean began to plan a course of action.

•••

Next Part

•••

Tag List ❤️

@hobby27 @writethelifeyouwantwant @deeranger @deans-baby-momma @deans-number-one-fan

[soft-pine]

spn20rewatch: 1.10 asylum // cn domestic violence

once again, it's sam that's looking for john. he's calling john's friends and colleagues. he suggests calling the Feds to help find john. dean pushes back saying, accurately, that john would hate that.

then john texts dean's phone - a new case. dean is somewhat relieved by this; john is alive and okay enough to give them homework. sam is, understandably pissed.

the case - cop murders his wife then himself - takes them to a bar in illinois where they stage a scene so sam can talk to the cop's old police partner. in the scene, dean plays a reporter badgering for details. sam plays the local hero - pushing dean away from the table and buying the cop a beer.

but he pushes dean hard enough that dean is clearly taken aback and even comments on it later.

DEAN: Shoved me kinda hard in there, buddy boy. SAM: I had to sell it, didn't I? It's method acting.

the episode ends with sam getting controlled by evil dr ellicott. his anger takes over. he shoots dean with rock salt. he would have shot him with live ammo if the gun dean handed him hadn't been empty. it's not the last time spn will have an episode where someone's anger gets magnified and intensified by supernatural forces. 4.14 and 8.06 come to mind.

but i think it's interesting that not only sam's anger - but the violence - were present before ellicott ever got his hands on sam. people have a view, i think, in which dean's more often aggressor in their physical altercations. (it's not true, of course. they're much more evenly split than that). but i think it speaks to the toxic family and culture they were raised in that violence shows up in these ways.

and i think sam is genuinely frustrated with dean for not having as much enthusiasm in searching for john. sam is upset dean is just working the cases john sends. but sam is also clearly mad at john. i mean, 1.20 makes it very clear that sam does not accept the "need to know" basis john has been forcing on them. in 1.02 sam is furious when john doesn't turn out to be in black water ridge and wants to abandon the case.

so sam's mad at dean and mad at john but john's not here.

it reminds me of the scene in 1.20 where john conversely angry with sam for not just taking him at his word and instead pushing back. but he expresses it by telling dean that he's not doing a good enough job taking care of baby.

dean is there to absorb (and try to diffuse) the anger john and sam have for each other.

but critically, dean is also dealing with a huge amount emotional uncertainty about john this season. we know john's left them before - and for long periods. but the pilot makes very clear that this time john has been gone and out of communication longer than normal. once dean's realizes that john is probably okay, he's just left to wonder what john's motivation is for not being in contact. season 14 will tell us that one of john's punishments is distance and silence.

i wonder if that's what dean's thinking about and feeling now. in the last episode, he called john crying to ask for help. in this one - with no check-in or follow up that dean is aware of - john texts him his next job.

when sam's being affected by ellicott, he says "I mean, why are we even here? ’Cause you're following Dad's orders like a good little solider? Because you always do what he says without question? Are you that desperate for his approval?"

but it's something much more basic than approval that dean is maybe hoping for. and i think he is worried that sam's insistence on not working cases in order to find a john who does not want to be found is going to jeopardize even the small contact he's receiving. of course dean doesn't know john is aware sam is with him. so any time they take away from working the cases john sends, could be read by john as only dean's actions. and, like we see in 1.20, even if it's not dean's actions, he could still face the consequences. and dean knows he's never gotten anything from john by demanding it.

i know im kind of playing a lot of speculation games. but dean's emotional landscape in this season is so important to me. and i think the way his peacekeeper role comes into play and diminishes his ability to voice his own needs is crucial to unpack a bit.

[madeup-community-episodes]

Theoretics of Bisexual Lighting

Background: The Dean rents out a gaudy hotel venue for a Greendale faculty only dance and NOTHING ELSE THIS WAS ALWAYS HIS PLAN (lying). Its all nicely decorated and he even got some LED lighting, specifically bisexual lighting, which is pointed out by Abed. A-Plot: Troy and Abed decide to go together as each others platonic dates, but the atmosphere gets Troy REALLY thinking about his and Abed's relationship. (More under the cut)

He looks back and sees that for the past 6+ years he has always been with him, save the rare moments they fought. Troy starts to think about spending the rest of his life with Abed, but the thing is he doesn't want to stress Abed out with anything romantic, he doesn't even know if this feeling IS romance, but he also doesn't think its platonic. Abed notices Troy is avoiding talking to him and asks if he wants to go, but Troy says nothings wrong. Throughout the night Troy gets more and more caught up in trying to categorizes his feelings of Abed into romantic or platonic or even familial. Later on in the night Troy confess he loves Abed and wants to kiss and all that with him but still doesn't know what he wants call it, and Abed's just kinda like 'I mean we could make something up, just for us', which helps Troy a LOT and yeah they kiss under the bisexual lighting and to the song 'Somewhere out there' by Linda Ronstadt :] B-Plot: Jeff and Duncan, the night before, decide to stay the night at the hotel to treat themselves, in separate rooms. HOWEVER, the hotel had a system glitch so Duncan's booked room was given to someone else. Jeff lets him stay in his room. That room happens to be a 'Honeymoon suite' because Jeff wanted to treat himself okay? So first off, they take a name in the middle of the day because the room situation kept them up until late in the night, but someone forgot to set an alarm and they end up missing one hour of the dance. THEN Jeff takes an inordinate amount of time in the shower, missing 30 more minutes of the dance. After THAT Duncan can't find the suit top he was going to wear, only realizing he forgot it at home, which loses them another hour. and after more comedic shenanigans ('dont you dare wear that tie, I am NOT matching with you' 'its the only one I brought Ian.' 'idc'), end up missing 4 hours of the dance, Jeff tries to go down without him- he really doesn't know why he didn't while he was looking for the jacket- but the lock on the door breaks and they're locked in and instead of yknow, calling the front desk, they argue about it. Duncan's like 'Why the hell didnt you just go without me?' and Jeffs like 'maybe I like being around you??' and Ians like 'bullshit, you started ignoring me after I didnt get you the test answers' Jeff is all like 'jesus christ, I know I sucked back then but MAYBE im a different person now and want to actually put in effort to be friends again' and Ians like 'Well-' but his ankle does that thing where it just twists while he's pacing around and he falls HARD into the lighting system of the room and, through the divine power of comedy tropes, turns on the Honeymoon Suite bisexual lighting and jazz music. Jeff goes over to him to check if he's okay and yknow after a heart to heart like that (pretend the dialogue was more emotional Im not good at writing emotional dialogue), emotions are racing and they are looking into eachothers eyes all deep and shit and and gay kiss and make out for the first time. First time SOBER, that is C-Plot: Annie meets one of the caterer girls and she tries so hard to get her number because hoooolllly shit she was so pretty omg. She embarrasses herself a lot and at some point just walks away to the bathroom to cry. Britta finds her and is like 'girl you dont have to bust your ass for anyone just go and ask the world wont explode i prommy' and so Annie works up the courage, goes over shaking and lands the girls number. :]

Extra: The dean rented the venue originally for a furcon but that fell thorough and it was a LOT of money to just waste.

[jackiequick]

A Visit From An Old Friend — [ Marvel Fanfic]

Summary: What happens when an old friend comes to visit to recruit something bigger than himself? In other words, a small family reunion between friends, with a couple of ants crawling around.

Platonic Pairing: Hank Pym & Jason Underwood

Characters featured/mentioned: The Young Avengers, Janet Van Dyne, Liz Stark, Howard Stark, Scott Lang, Hope Van Dyne and etc.

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Ant-Man (2015)

Fic type: Short Blurb

Small warning: Some fluff and angst

----

The daylights were in full swing, the radio was high and bright as he drove down the road to a old house he used to call home. At the steps of the house stood a man he hasn't seen in the late 80s but never forgotten.

Above the steps stood the man with dark rich blonde curls spiked in a nicely manner, a blue colored shirt and black James Dean jeans wearing a pair of shades himself. He sipping on a cup of coffee with a half smile to boot.

He parked the car in the east side of the parkway as he existed the vehicle, flipping the keys in hand and removed his sunglasses with a smile.

As he took towards the step he heard the man said, "Hank."

"JJ." He replied, as he was handed a cup of warm coffee.

"What was the reason for this visit?"

"You got my email didn't you?"

"Yup."

"You missed seeing Hope."

"It was an 8 hour drive! You know how hard it was to get out of that house without Felton and Rei breathing down my neck?"

"This is why I stopped babysitting."

The blonde just playfully glared following the older one into his old home. Jason hasn't been in this house of his in more than a century, having took time to take care of his older one in Malibu. Yet, he never had the heart to throw away the keys, so instead he gave them to Hank. And by god, was he glad he did.

His old home was kept nice and cleaned, some mess here and there. A few dust particles in certain smaller areas but other than that it was fine. Keeping its cozy yet vintage style. Hank sat down on the grey couch that used to be a dark brown, sipping his second morning coffee taking in the moment of peace. Jason sat in the armchair beside him closing his eyes.

Neither man had to say a word to know that they missed the peace and quiet this house brought. No screaming children, calls from SHIELD, nor nagging neighbors trying to get you to babysit their dumb dog for the weekend. Just a moment of total silence from the world around them.

Yes, truth be told, after 1989 Hank was never seen again towards SHIELD's main offices due to his stupid fallout with Howard and the others. But he often kept in touch with people like him or Peggy, whenever possible. Mainly because Hope wanted to see her aunts and uncles, and after Janet's passing Hank couldn't deprive his daughter from not having any closer family or friends around.

Jason tended to be his go-to person whenever he needed a quick babysitter for Hope, whenever the blonde was in town and he happily said yes. He first thought Hank would want nothing to do with him after what Howard pulled on the man, but after a small debate on that very day both men realized they couldn't hold grudges against each other.

They already had too many grudges over their heads to even count, why add another? It would only lead to a bigger headache anyways.

So over the years, Hank and Jason would put aside a small time to check in on one another. Make sure the other man wasn't dead yet. It was a running joke on who would die first out of the two. But at this rate, knowing the people in their lives, they won't let them get bury in the ground so easily.

Yet.

He peaked an eye open as he rested his head and asked, "JJ? You got what I sent you?"

The others eyes were still closed as he hummed, "Yeah. I sent the small package and if I'm correct, it will be brought though word of mouth soon enough."

"Good. I hope this guys is worth it. If he's smart enough, he will do as I planned."

"Why Scott Lang anyway? I gave you a list of people you can choose from and you chose him..."

"Scott Lang broke into Vistacorp Headquarters to pay back the money VistaCorp had been stealing from their users, before he brought into prison. Heard of it?"

"Yeah, he pulled strong a stunt risking to pay back all that money they took. According to the file, he has a master degree in electrical engineering, which gave him the skills to hack into their grid."

Hank smirked, "That's why I need him. He has a special set of skills as a hacker and thief. I want to test him, see if he's able to play the game right."

"If he can break into the lock and steal the suit, then he was a right fit." Jason added with a grin, "..he also has a daughter Hank. You know better than anyone the length you would go to see your kid. Chances are, he ends up in jail again."

"He won't."

"Hank."

"I have a plan. Trust me on this one."

"And I'll be here to say 'I told you so' when it goes sideways."

The two crack a chuckle knowing it was bound to happen whether they liked it or not. But if the plan does end up going sideways, they always had other ways of doing things. Even if it meant going undercover to bait Scott Lang into the older man's plan. Both spent the rest of the day catching up, watching some tv and grabbing a bite to eat.

None of the Young Avengers knew that Jason was gone for a short couple of days. Well, some of them noticed as he has been receiving calls from a few thought the day. Mainly ones from Rei, Liane, Rochelle, Ji-Hoon, Lydia and even Wanda. Hank commented how he was still amazed he hasn't lost his head yet.

"Who said I haven't?" Jason joked with a small chuckle.

"Who's watching them?" He asked in returning smiling.

"Elizabeth, Nat and Bruce. I hope."

"Oh dear god. Now, I gotta know, who's the hardest to watch over?"

"Depends on the day. Rei is the easiest at most, Rochelle is rather shy and hangs out with her friends..but Liane.."

"Felton's what? Oh. You can't lie to me, and not say Rei Stark doesn't turn your gears one bit."

"Rei does make me question my life choices, but I love him to death. Felton, she is a handful and a total bitch at times. It's why I always hand her off to Hill to taken care of. I need my silence."

That caused Hank to snort and laugh. He knew the man was too polite to say anything to harsh per say, not knowing who's around to hear him but if possible he will let a rip.

"Now that's the Jason I know, call it how it is!" He shouted as he tossed a chip into his mouth, "Half of them ain't even your kids."

The blonde smirked nodding, knowing the grey man's words to be truth. There are good couple of them aren't his legally or even raised them from childhood, but a part of him does care. Even if he wants to shut up half the time.

Hell, even the ants joined in on the fun. They are 247 of them after all, the ants were bound to make their appearance in carrying items around and or, helping them with alerting any incoming news on the heist they were waiting to happen.

--------

------------

Later on, that very night they went to the basement as they turned on the lights to reveal a high tech level of security cameras, microphones and chairs laying around. It was linked up to whatever humanity possible can find, in this case, the ants.

They watched Scott break into his house, as Hank seemed impressed by his work giving Jason a couple of approved nods, as they kept rolling the tape. The handy work, the levels of patience and precision Scott Lang had was amazing. His quick thinking and ways he moved around the area at quick speed was something he could only imagine to do when he was back in the 40s. Hank used to think and move that fast in the late 80s. More or less.

Without a better matter of minutes he took the suit and ran. They spend the better part of the next day, watching Scott and see what he would do.

That he was expandable. And that he was. Jason chocked out a laugh at how freaked out he was as Hank talked into the coms. Sadly of course, the moment he returned the suit, he was caught red handed by the cops.

It was Hope's doing. She didn't know much about the man or the fact that he had a track record he was trying to maintain. Which led Hank to toss a pair of suits over to Jason, telling him it's time to lawyer up, as the man rolled his eyes at his friend.

Once they were in the prison, Scott Lang was brought into a room confused more the most part, not understanding who they were. He didn't know about the fact that he had a lawyer watching after him. They told him second chances don't always come easily, especially for men like him, next time he gets one, he should take a closer look onto what it is. And he's smart enough, he will listen to them.

Thankfully he did, as Hank ordered the ants to get Scott escape the jail cell and be brought home that night. However the man got dizzy and past out, resulting him to be knocked out cold in one the guest bedrooms of the house.

Hank's house, since he had more tech and landscape to work around than Jason did. As they waited for him to wake up, the blonde went out grab some more supplies and food. He was hungry.

When he returned home with the items needed, entering quietly through the front door he heard it. Hope was here. He should've known she would've made an appearance at some point.

"Please tell me you didn't call JJ." She said looking at her father with her arms crossed.

"I didn't call JJ." Her father responded with a sigh, trying to enjoy his tea.

"He is busy right now."

"I didn't call him."

She pointed to the brown leather jacket that was on the chair beside her. The one she gave the blonde years ago for a birthday present when she was in high school. Her father said he was borrowing it from the man's closet when he went to check on his home.

"You liar. Like always. Just say that you did." Hope remarked.

Hank groaned, "I emailed him."

"You tipped him. Dragging his ass here, for what? I can handle the mission myself!"

"No, you can't! He needed one-"

"You never listen to me!"

"Hope!"

She looked over her shoulder at face the voice who called out her name like an old memory. Only to find her uncle standing there with a stern look on his face, his usual cheeky grin was exchanged for a pair of lined smile and frustrated eyes that glared into her soul. He made her feel like a child again, getting in trouble for yelling at her father or running away from school grounds to play with her friends.

She looked down, feeling less than, muttering a soft 'sorry' in his direction as he simply nodded. He shook his head and sighed at his niece. He hated seeing them fight, he knew they had their reasons but she walked away a long time ago, just to prove a point to her father that she was worth it. And she already was.

"I didn't know..I uh, would've liked a heads up that you were coming..." She admitted for being silent for a moment.

He placed the bag of groceries on the table as he gave her a small half smile, "I know..but I knew you would've said otherwise and convince me to stay home."

"You don't have to be here. I can handle this."

"I know. But I'm here now, it's not like I'm going to waste a long drive just to be stuck at home listening to ABBA on the radio."

"Still. You should've-"

"Hope. Just don't. What's done is done. I came at my own risk and I won't be staying long, just to make sure a few things are in check."

"..I uh, I missed you."

"I did too."

She pulled her arms out to be taking in by his embrace. The warmth of his hugs always felt like a nice blanket as he wrapped her arms around him and kissed her forehead. She rested her head against his shoulder having another moment of silence to relax, sending a small glare to her father. She chuckled hearing her uncle brought her favorite ice cream from Basin Robins to help ease the tension, causing a tiny grunt from Hank. Her uncle smirked and told her to get Scott as she pulled away with a small smile.

When Hope walked out, he turned around to see his old friend sending daggers swords him. Jason just shrugged, "What?"

"You can't win her over with ice cream and hugs." He remarked.

"Yes I can. That's my job as the uncle. Make you look bad, so you want to work harder for her affection."

"That's not how it's supposed to work."

"That's exactly how it's supposed to work."

Soon enough, Scott and Hope joined them in the dinning room, as they talked trying to explain the situation to the confused brunette. Hope and Hank bricked as they did, as Jason tried to defuse the issue at hand introducing the trio. Scott listened along, trying to piece together everything they said, hearing how they were impressed with his work as well. He was offered some sugar, watching the ants push it around.

"H-how do you make them do that?" Scott asked pointing to the said ants, watching one climb onto Jason's finger with ease.

"Ants can lift objects 50 times their size. They can build farms. Corporate with each other." Hank explained.

"Right. But how do you make them do that?"

"I used electromagnetic waves to stimulate their factor's nerves center using a device. I speak to the Ants. I can go anywhere, see everything and hear everything."

"And still know absolutely nothing. I'm late for a meeting." Hope injects with a clear tone, pressing a kiss to her uncles cheek and a nod to her father.

"Be safe!" Jason calls out with a half smile, sipping his tea.

"Always am!"

With that she walks out. Scott raised an hand asking who the hell they are, what the hell is going on and if he could back to jail. Jason rolled his eyes telling both men to follow him.

They walked and talked heading down to the basement to reveal a small headquarters as Scott looked around in awe. Hank explained the suit and his role in this as Jason finished setting up a few things adding in a jab or two as he went along.

"Pym tech? SHIELD?" Scott said muttering under his breathe as he followed their voices.

"Darren Cross had heard rumors around the Pym Particles. Something that both companies tried to keep under lock and key, with only a few knowing it existed." Jason explained.

"And he became obsessed with recreating my formula." Hank continued to explain holding a vial of Pym particles, "But I wouldn't help. So he partially voted me out of my own company. Hope was chairmen of the board, so that helped. But she came back to me when she saw how close he was with his process. But without a suit, the brain isn't protected."

"Causing a fiery sensational effect that can make the brain unstable. And Cross hasn't realized that part yet. So with our luck, he'll die."

"Be nice, JJ. Cross isn't the most stable guy to begin with."

Scott listen then asked, "So what do you want from me?"

Both men exchange a look as Hank walked over to Scott Lang and told him he believed in second chances for everyone. A redemption. Saying that if he does that, he can start a new path and get some insight wiped off his records. Scott looked pleased declaring that he will go along with the plan of theirs. Within a couple of hours, they all got to work.

Scott began to start training how to use the suit, understanding the plan and communicating with the idea on how to get into the building. He got learn about the concept of the ants and their behavior in the process of the world. Hope and Jason offered to teach Scott some fighting techniques to help him later on. Hope smirked getting a good swing at Scott punching him hard enough he fell backwards, as Jason snorted at their dynamic play between the tackles to the ground.

———-

—————

It got to a certain point where Scott was given the opportunity to learn how to control the ants. Hank acted as director for him, telling him to focus having faith that he can do it. Scott tried but it didn’t work. Hope groan annoyed telling him how he needed to commit to communicating with them, he has to mean it. The father daughter duo, once again began to argue over the subject. Jason reminded them on how the focus should be on helping Scott with the trails.

“Really? That’s where our focus should be?” Hope said, taking the device used for the ants and held it close to her ear controlling to do more than just add sugar to the tea. She caused to room to darken as the ants blocked out the lights, Hank caught her before she can act by further. Her voice broke as she muttered a few words at her father and sighed before exiting the room.

Hank knew he couldn’t do it without her. Since day one she has requested to be put in the suit, do the trails and get the mission accomplished herself, but her father refused every request she made. Jason knew the reason why. Scott noticed the problem being a father himself and went out to talk to her, hoping to knock some sense into Hope and have her see behind the act.

The two were alone in the house, standing in awkward silence as the moment of Hope’s departure replayed in their heads. Hank walked around the first floor, fumbling with a small piece of dice he found in the living room as Jason watched from the window the car sitting in the driveway with the two figures talking inside.

He broke the silence with a scoff, biting in the inside of his cheek as he said, “You have to tell her.”

“No.” He muttered in response, knowing exactly what he meant by those words.

“If you want her on your side, you have to break the ice here. She knows Janet didn’t die cause of some accident involving a plane. I know it’s painful for you, Hank, but she deserves to know.”

“Like you told Stark about his parents death.”

That silence Jason quicker than expected. He remembered how Howard and Maria died, when he was at his lowest moments during the holiday season. He told Tony what he knew and what he only could’ve revealed of that painful memory, going as far as to show him the photographs he dug up a few days later from news reports. Hank might’ve had a falling out with Howard but he was at the damn funeral for a short period of time before returning home.

Hank knew he hit a nerve and continued, “You couldn’t even wrap your head around fact that you lost them. Worse, telling a child their mother died and they never had the chance to say goodbye. I lost Janet that day because of my misfortunes during the mission.”

“I know, I heard the story. I can only imagine how you felt when it happened, when she shrunk down to that size..” Jason added trying to find his voice again.

“Please, don’t remind me, Jason, she went sub-atomic...”

“And you tried to get her back by studying for weeks on an answer to get her back”

“I made a mistake letting her come with me..I was stupid enough to let that happen..you know how hard it is for me just to relive that experience again…Hope might hate me when she finds out..”

“I know, she might but she will forgive you…Hank..you and I have made a lot mistakes in the past 3 decades. We made decisions that we aren’t proud of..thinking we are protecting them from harm..”

“That’s the whole point! That’s our job, to keep them safe and not be heartbroken by the truth. You only gave Stark the benefit of the doubt about his parents death and how it affected the outcome, you said he hated the world for it..I can’t tell her..we have secrets for a reason..”

“Yeah well, Tony could care less about his father…How about you only tell her what you can? When the time comes where she asks for more, you go into more detail about what happened. You are driving her away now…I know you hate the looks she gives you. You said it yourself..”

There was an unspoken number of casualties among those accidents that occurred during the death of their loved ones. Only so much information, they kept closed to their chest to prevent others suffering in those moments. The amount of consequences to their loved ones being gone felt like a huge blow to the head and stuffed around in secret.

Hank knew that, especially with the fact that his very friend lost more than he can chew.

He felt sorry for bringing it up, but it just didn’t occur to him the words would impact that hard. Hell, the memories of his wife were still so fresh in his brain like it was yesterday.

Hank ran a couple of fingers cross his hair muttering, “Sorry for bringing that up. It’s just…”

“I know..I know. But you do need to let her know what happened that day.” Jason responded taking a breath to regain himself.

That was when Hope and Scott returned from the car, about to say something but was cut off by Hank’s statement. He had a hand against the fireplace beforehand turning around to face the two of them, to face his daughter with the truthful remarks she desires to know. He slowly but surely explained what he could to his daughter onto what happened to her mother as her voice broke mumbling a few questions.

He did in best to answer them. It hurt to talk about it, as it felt like he was reliving the same day all over again. She wanted to know more but her thoughts didn’t seem to allow her to think straight as she teared up even more. Hank just told her in the end he lost her mother, he didn’t mean to lose his daughter too.

Scott ruined the moment with a quippy response that caused Jason to roll his eyes, telling him to go make some tea. Afterwards the four of them got back to work on training Scott and working with the plans they had in motion.

———-

At some point, Jason went upstairs to get something to eat and suddenly got another set of calls. He sighed deeply knowing they must've been from Liane or Rei, he ignored knowing it was probably something they could've handle themselves. They had to learn how to get along and figure out solutions to things without an actual adult fixing it entirely for them.

With a deep sigh he answered, “Hello?”

“Jason! Aha we might got an issue at the compound—dude shut up!” Said the voice that clearly belonged to Liane.

“Okay, who burnt the toaster again? Wait why are you at The Compound anyway? Your supposed to be at The Tower..”

“The adults went out on a small scale meeting, so we were left alone. Long story short, we had an incident at The Tower and decided to visit The Compound for breakfast instead—Ughhh Rei be quiet! Rick calm it’s gonna be fine—I was saying, we came here and Sam made us breakfast…and then..”

“Then what? Liane spit it out or put Rei on the phone.”

“Then we saw an issue and Sam told us to stay inside.”

Just as Liane and Rei’s voices were heard, along with the other members in the background, Jason was called downstairs by Hank to check on something. And let’s just say, he wanted to punch the older man for his actions. From the panels on the screen, shots of Scott fighting The Falcon to get inside Avengers Compound. Hope half smiled, annoyed and confused by Scott’s actions.

It was honestly hilarious yet stressful.

He put the phone call on mute as he whispered, “Hank, what the hell?! You said that the item you were looking for was at an old building, not Avengers Compound!”

“I didn’t know that it was remodeled after all this time! You could’ve said something.” Hank remarked looking up at the blonde from his seat.

“You weren’t speaking of the specifics either! Oh god..Scott better get out of there.”

“He’ll be fine. Besides he’s fighting an Avenger, this can be taken as part of his training for the next assignment. What are you worried about?”

“Half of the other avengers are inside the building now and they’re a little terrified.”

Hope said an eyebrow confused onto what her uncle meant until she heard the voices over the phone and almost immediately laughed at the sound.

She couldn’t make out the voices very well but one caught her ears as she asked, “Is that Felton? Since when is she freaked out over something like this, isn’t she an Avenger?”

Jason just shrugged at this point and responded, “It’s a great mystery to all of this. And yes that was her. I can already picture Rei’s annoyed expressions. Whatever we do, we just have to get Scott out there and fast.”

“Or they might call the other heroes for assistance. Damn it.”

“Days like this, I wish my retirement plan was completely different.”

“You can always come stay with me instead. Wait, I’m still in the Will right?”

He winked at her meaning a clear ‘yes you are, honey.’ As they both returned their focus back onto the screen watching Hank navigate Scott across the field to fight Falcon, suddenly they lost visual contact with him as the ants couldn’t see what was happening inside. It went silent as the only sound came from the cell phone in Jason’s hand.

He raised the phone up his ear to respond, “Whatever happens stay instead. I’ll be there in a couple of hours to check up on—”

“About time you picked up the damn phone!” Yelled the voice that belonged to his first godson.

“Rei?! What happened to Liane?”

“I took it off her hands, she went to help calm Rick and the others down or whatever. I really don’t care. Do I have permission to take her down Felton and shut off the systems?”

“Permission granted—wait, hold off on shutting down the systems for a few minutes and then reboot The Compound.”

“Does that mean I’m in charge of everything?”

“Does it mean the house won’t be fire when I come over to check on you guys?”

“Yes sir.”

“Then you’re in charge. And please get a hold of an adult!”

The phone called ended with Rei’s voice being heard over the speaker as you can imagine the others not sounding too pleased about the news. Jason just smirked already picturing their faces as he watched the panels of Scott escaping and Falcon on the floor. Him and Hank fist bump at the process of the mission turning out decently well.

He knew Hank was gonna have a talk with Scott on his actions and how he handled it, but Jason knew based on the files that Scott must’ve gotten the item needed for the job.

And he was right.

Hope was very impressed with what he did as her father sighed in relief at the assignment being completed. Scott Lang had skills and knowledge to be used on a battlefield one day, possibly even a hero. The four of them talked about upcoming events that were set in motion as Jason texted his nephew for updates on the situation from earlier as it seemed like things have calmed down over there.

He will need to drive over there to check up on them later.

As of now, all he knew is that the four of them were headed into a very dangerous environment within the incoming hours. Especially after Darren Cross’s appearance at the household, assuming he was just speaking with Hank Pym, as the others were silently standing in the kitchen.

The next couple of hours were gonna be a wild ride.

~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~

That’s what I got! Thanks for reading I hope you liked it. 📺

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[laurel-finch]

'I Don't Bite' S1.Ch12: Dear Dad

Summary: A new enemy makes herself known... Referenced Episodes: S1 E16 "Shadow" CW: Gore. John Winchester should be his own warning. Word Count: 5399 Recommended Song: Cold as Ice -- Foreigner Previous Chapter -- Masterlist -- Next Chapter

The boys were rejoicing over the return of their father. I watched with bated breath, worried that something would go wrong. I still had that unsettled feeling in the pit of my stomach and something told me not to let my guard down. I brought the neck of my t-shirt to my split lip and dabbed at the slow trickle of blood.

"Dad, it was a trap," Dean said quietly as he separated himself from his father's warm embrace, almost sounding embarrassed. "I didn't know. I'm sorry." The way he talked made my skin prickle, as if this was the only person who could command Dean's respect. I had never seen him, or Sam for that matter, bow to anyone like this. It made my skin crawl that Dean fell into a kind of obedience that he had with no one else.

"It's alright. I figured it might have been," John replied. He sounded so sure of himself.

"Then why are you here?" I demanded. The words came out much more spiteful than I had intended, earning me a harsh glare from Dean. I shrugged it off and held John's cold gaze. Neither my wolf nor I liked the commanding presence he held. He stood as if he owned the room and dominated the space, an admiral trait amongst humans. But to me… it felt like a threat.

John's gaze was harsh and cold, like a bitter winter. It felt like he was analyzing every inch of me and judging me based on what he saw. I didn't like the calculating look he was giving me.

"I came to help my sons," he said icily, and his no-nonsense tone caused me to narrow my eyes at him. "Mind telling me who the hell you are?"

Dean jumped into action without a second thought. "She's a hunter. A friend of ours." John didn't even look his way and instead held my firm gaze. He didn’t buy it – the brothers knew better than to hunt with people that weren’t part of the family.

I uttered my name coldly and extended my hand to John. "I'm new to the business."

John's brown eyes narrowed in thought, pondering what I had said. "You got any family in the business?" My skin itched. He really put it together that quickly?

I nodded. "Yeah. My uncle. I saw his phone number in our journal, you know. He never told me about you." I crossed my arms and did my best to look intimidating. It was harder than I anticipated, knowing that I was inadvertently defying a well-known hunter, a man that his sons, my friends, looked up to with a great deal of respect.

Dean’s head snapped in my direction the moment I mentioned the phone number. My gaze slipped to his for just a second, shooting him a cold look. Now he understood. He looked sheepish, realizing he had blown off such an important conversation.

I nearly had a heart attack when John cracked a subtle grin. "Funny," he said slowly. "I remember him. Good man, better hunter. He never mentioned you either." He grasped my hand tightly and shook it. "Thank you for looking out for my boys. I know they can be a handful."

I flashed my own grin and nodded. "You wouldn't believe the shit they've gotten into while you were gone."

He chuckled and clapped Dean on the shoulder. Dean smiled a genuine smile, one of the few I had ever seen him show. "I bet I could tell you stories about these two you that would have your head spinning," John laughed again, a well-worn sound, as though he used to laugh a lot. "You boys remember that hunt outside of San Antonio? With the rugaru? You boys just about-"

"Dad," Sam interjected with an almost warning note. John looked towards his youngest son, a flash of pain dancing over his eyes. "When did you get here?"

John swallowed before speaking again. "About the same time as your friend, I assume. Burst in right before the girl took a swan dive," he paused and looked towards the now broken window. "She was the bad guy, right?"

"Yes, sir," the boys said in sync. John nodded slowly, pondering as he took a few long strides towards the window.

"Good. That doesn't surprise me," he sighed and locked his hands behind his back, surveying his limited view of the city block. "It's tried to stop me before."

"The demon has?" questioned Sam, walking up behind his father. John nodded solemnly.

"It knows I'm close. It knows I'm gonna kill it. Not just exorcize it or send it back to hell- actually kill it." My eyes widened. Demons can't be killed, at least not to my limited knowledge they can't. And how did John expect to kill a demon of this caliber? From the stories I had heard, this thing was no joke.

"How?" Dean asked, voicing the very question I was asking myself.

"I'm working on that," his father responded. I frowned at the vague answer. Was he really not going to involve his boys in this? They had just as much of a right to know as anyone. I opened my mouth to retort but was cut off by Sam.

"Let us come with you," the youngest Winchester said. It was more of a command than a question. "We'll help."

Dean flashed a warning glare toward Sam and turned away from his family, reaching for his bag of weapons. My eyes followed Dean's reserved and surprisingly defeated-looking form. It was like he already knew this was going to go nowhere.

"No, Sam, not yet. Just try to understand. This demon is a scary son of a bitch. I don't want you caught in a crossfire. I don't want you hurt," John stated with a note of finality in his voice.

Sam clenched his jaw and balled his fists. His teeth ground together, as though he was trying to hold himself back from arguing. "Dad, you don't need to worry about us-"

"Of course, I do," John argued. "I'm your father." He sighed and ran a hand through his mussed hair, a bit of it sticking up with dried blood from where I had hit him. I felt a mix of pride and shame; pride, for landing a blow like that to one of the most famous hunters in America, and shame, for having fought him at all. "Listen, we can talk about this more when we get back to your hotel room."

Dean perked up at this, eyes wide with relief as he spun to face John. "You're coming with us?"

"For now," he answered. "I'll meet you there." He paced towards his fallen weapons bag and slung it over his shoulder, then stopped to think for a moment. He turned to me, emotions masked under his heavy gaze. "How about you ride with me. You can help give me directions to the hotel."

My heart thumped in my chest with worry. Was he already on to me?

Dean spoke up before I could answer. "Dad, you can just follow us-"

"It's alright, Dean," I said, holding up a hand. His jaw snapped shut, eyes filled with worry. It struck me just how much he almost looked like a puppy when John was around. He lost his bruising confidence and command as soon as John and I fell through the door. "I can handle myself." Dean's gaze hardened at my words. He knew what I really meant.

If John was going to find out who I really was, it would be on my terms. He wasn't going to find out what I was that easy.

The eldest Winchester nodded and motioned for me to follow him down the many stairs I had climbed up not that long ago. I sidestepped over the fallen door on the ground floor and followed him out of the building.

I realized that the pickup I had seen park a few alleys down was in fact his. I couldn't help but beat myself up over not putting two and two together – I couldn't have known, but I should have known.

To my surprise, the cab of the pickup smelled a lot like the boys – or rather, the boys smelled a lot like their father. The seats were worn and stained, and the scent of cheap beer hung in the air. It was the same beer scent that hung off Dean. Apparently, he and his father had similar tastes. John had an interesting smell, one of motor oil and beer, like when he wasn't hunting he was under his vehicle doing something. I remember the brothers mentioning that he was a mechanic before all this happened. Old habits die hard, I guess.

"You know, I've heard of you before. I dropped by Missouri Moseley's place not long after you three visited her."

My brows rose and I cocked my head to look at him. He stopped by Missouri’s, but didn’t bother to find his sons? And now he was just conveniently close enough to Chicago to be here for this hunt. Was he… following us? "Yeah? That was my first case with your boys," I answered coolly, fighting to keep the suspicion out of my tone.

John hummed thoughtfully, his eyes fixated on the dark road ahead. His brows knit together for a moment and he turned his face away from me, shrouded in shadow. "Where'd you say they picked you up?"

"Alabama. Few months back."

"Right. Alabama."

We drove along for only a few minutes, the Impala steadily distancing itself from us. As the boys turned a corner and disappeared from sight, John jerked the wheel in the opposite direction and turned sharply. I extended my hands to hold onto the dash, for fear of being knocked over. He guided the raised truck to a parking spot and halted.

The moment was tense with the two of us sitting in complete silence. I picked at the hem of my coat, borrowed from Dean, and waited for him to speak.

John inhaled deeply and clenched his hands on the steering wheel, holding it with a white knuckle grip. "You know," he started, his voice rough, "I hunted with your… uncle a few times. Got to know him pretty well. He never once mentioned anything about having a niece." His brown eyes latched onto my own, surveying me with deep suspicion and distrust. "The only family he ever mentioned was his sister, and I was told she died on a werewolf hunt years ago."

I swallowed dryly, lifting my chin in defiance. "So what? You trying to say you don't think I am who I say I am?"

"I think something is off about you," he grumbled. "You're hiding something."

"I can assure you, I'm not," I growled. "He was my uncle, and his sister was my mother."

"That would make you as old as Dean, for that to be plausible." Yeah, just about. Only a couple years younger. He leaned back in his seat and placed one hand on his hip to where I was sure he concealed some sort of weapon. "Something about your story doesn't check out, and I'll be damned if I let someone I don't trust around my boys."

I bit back a warning growl. "With all due respect, John, while your boys have been gallivanting around the country searching for you, I was the one helping them." I scowled at him, grimacing with distaste at his words. "If I wanted to hurt them, I've already had ample opportunities."

His fist clenched over his hip and a worn scowl rested on his face. I maintained the heated stare-down for what felt like years before he finally dropped his and looked out the front window.

"So what's the story?" he inquired. "What happened to your mom?"

I huffed and leaned back in my seat with my arms crossed. "She, uh, died on a hunt not long after I was born. I lived with my father. He left when I was seventeen... I moved in with my uncle after that."

It wasn't completely a lie. No, my mother hadn't died, but John didn't need to know that. That would have just raised even more questions that I either couldn't or didn't want to answer. And yeah, I had lived with my dad after she 'died,' but I had also lived with my mom.

"Why'd your dad leave?" he pressed, pulling a toothpick from the glove compartment and sliding it between his teeth.

I shrugged. "Hell if I know. Guess he just finally got fed up with me." No, he got fed up with living without her, I thought to myself. Despite their volatile and frequent fights they loved each other. “I look like her. That’s what my uncle said,” I tacked on hurriedly, building the story. Again, only a half lie.

John hummed in response and rolled his tongue over his teeth. I lifted a brow at the motion. Sam had the same habit when he was lost in thought. "Where is your uncle? Haven't heard from him in a while."

I stiffened, eyes glazing over as I stared out the window in front of me. John really didn't know? "He's dead," I mumbled. "Almost two years ago. Wraith hunt." I rubbed my eye, fighting back the occasional tear that wanted to slip through. Thinking about his death was one thing, but telling someone else about it made it feel so much more real...

"Shit," John whispered. "He was a good hunter."

No 'I'm sorry'? Seriously?

"Yeah," I mumbled back. "Yeah, he was. The best, I think."

"Did he ever get the wolf that got your mom?" John asked. I scoffed. Right back to hunting, like I wasn't suppressing the urge to cry. "He'd mentioned wanting to a few times."

"No," I sighed. "And, uh… he didn’t think it was a werewolf that killed her."

That caught John's attention. His head slowly turned to face mine, eyebrow raised and eyes holding a question in them. "If it wasn't a werewolf, then what was it?" Fuck… I should’ve kept my damn mouth shut.

"Um… you know about skinwalkers, right? Dean mentioned you went on a hunt when the boys were little."

“Yeah, I know of ‘em. They're just myths. If they did exist, they're all dead now."

I felt my hackles rise and fought the urge to growl at him. "Then what about your hunt?"

He shrugged. "I got a tip-off that there was some activity in the mountains of New Mexico. Small city nearby, people disappearing and then their bodies turning up with almost no distinguishable marks – all of them had their hearts missing. Wasn’t a full moon, so couldn’t have been a werewolf." My skin prickled as I felt him turn his heated stare toward me with that cold, calculating feeling that made my skin crawl. “I’ve seen a few similar cases since then. Nothing fruitful, though.” 

“Makes sense if they’re extinct,” I grumbled.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "There was a local legend, probably spread by the Navajo – they're native to that area, you know, and the deserts around it like Arizona. Anyway, a bunch of locals were talking about seeing wild wolves with red eyes. Massive wolves apparently, bigger than any dog. When I went out there and looked around, there was nothing. No wolves, no bodies, no trace of nothing. Even the witnesses had either moved away or refused to talk and acted like they hadn't seen anything. I tried to work the case, but there was nothing to go on."

I shifted in my seat and turned my upper body to face him. "The lack of a case doesn't negate their existence."

John chuckled again, an airy, disbelieving sound. "No, but it doesn't prove their existence either. I haven't heard about a fresh skinwalker case in years. Last person I met who actually saw one is probably in her late eighties now. Hell, even then she wasn't sure what she saw. Said it was just as likely to have been a Chupacabra," he hummed and turned his dark, almost black eyes on me. "What makes him so sure it was a skinwalker that did her in?"

I opened and closed my mouth a couple of times, searching for a feasible answer and finding none. "Dunno. He never… found any real facts. Just a feeling, I guess," I finally said, my voice lacking the confidence I felt.

John laughed once before putting the truck back into drive and pulling away from the curb. "On a hunt, the only thing that a feeling will get you is dead."

I narrowed my eyes at him and leaned forward slightly as he accelerated the heavy truck, the engine roaring to life. "I think feelings are important on a hunt. Without them, it becomes more about the thrill of the kill and less about saving a life."

He mulled this over for a few seconds before speaking. "Feelings save people, yeah. But the lack of it wipes out monsters. There's a reason why we don't have skinwalkers or vampires anymore - someone lacked those feelings. And now, those monsters can't hurt anyone again."

I straightened in my seat, utterly surprised by his coldness. I had never met anyone with such a dark philosophy. Even my uncle, an incredibly skilled and well-known hunter, valued compassion for the victims over the death of the monster. I sat back against my seat, staring out the window with wide eyes.

I blinked twice, realizing that I could never alert John to what I really was. If I did, he'd certainly kill me. God, to even bring skinwalkers up was so fucking stupid. What the hell was I thinking?

"You know," he started. I refused to turn my eyes toward him. "I'm glad someone like you is with the boys. You don't seem like the type to put up with their shit."

"No," I stated. "No, I try not to put up with anyone's shit."

"Good. The boys need that, for when I'm not around."

I bristled, my shoulders tensing. I’m nothing like you. The remainder of the trip back to the hotel was silent, aside from the occasional direction on how to get there. I was thankful when he parked and I was out the door before he had even unbuckled his seat belt.

I threw my backpack on, slinging it over my shoulders, and rushed to our hotel room. I tossed the door open and leaned against the wall, catching my breath. God, that was nerve-wracking.

The brothers poked their heads out from the kitchen where they were organizing weapons on the kitchen table. Dean's eyes widened and then quickly narrowed, a million thoughts rushing through his head.

"I told you not to come!" he shouted just as John pushed the door open. "I told you to stay put! What if you had gotten hurt!?"

"Lay off, Dean," John said, dropping his own pack on the bed nearest the door. "She was just looking out for you, just as you would have done for her."

Dean was fuming and he raked his fingers through his hair angrily, giving it a slight tug. "She defied a direct order, dad!" I scoffed and pushed past him, shoving him lightly on the shoulder. Sam gave me a pitying glance as I threw my bag on the second bed and flopped into the other unoccupied kitchen chair.

"Sounds familiar," John retorted. "She must’ve gotten it from you."

I suppressed a chuckle, catching Sam's hazel eyes as he fought the urge as well. Dean sputtered and from this angle, I could see his ears flush a deep red. John's eyes flitted around the shabby room, taking the place in before landing on Sam. His eyes warmed and then clouded over with deep sadness and longing. I recognized that look. It was a regret.

"Sammy," he sighed and crossed the room to his youngest son, who stood from his chair to meet him. "Last time we were together, we had one hell of a fight."

"Yes, sir," Sam said, his eyes tearing up a bit. It surprised me to see Sam on the verge of tears. I knew they fought before Sam left for college, but I never knew what about or how bad. I felt it wasn't really my business, nor did Sam want to discuss it.

"It's good to see you again," John said, his own eyes moist. "It's been a long time."

"Too long," Sam added, gripping his shorter father in a tight hug like this was their last chance at rekindling their relationship.

In all honesty, it might have been. Not even a beat after the two separated, John was suddenly thrown across the room, his back hitting the cabinets roughly.

"No!" Dean screamed, rushing towards him before being tossed in the opposite direction like a limp rag.

"Dean!" I screamed. Sam rushed towards his father, who screamed as something tore into his chest.

I felt an icy sensation as something sunk into my back and shoulder and slid down my back. My back burned and I screamed, spinning and ripping the flesh more as whatever it was unhooked its claws from me. I could see the red seeping into my vision once more, but I shoved it back when I heard Dean scream my name and point toward his bag.

I lunged towards it and dragged it off the table, pulling it onto the floor and rifled through its contents. There had to be something in here that would produce enough light to ward these shadow demon things off.

I screamed again as I felt icy talons dig into the back of my thigh and suddenly I was being dragged backward on my stomach, pulling the bag with me. The thing tore into my leg, shredding whatever muscles and tendons it could reach while I tossed contents out of the bag.

Finally, my hand clenched around the familiar shape of a flare and I held the object high above my head as the Daeva ripped through my leg like a piece of paper. I screamed through clenched teeth as I uncapped the flare and tossed it on the ground.

The room filled with blistering white heat and the icy feeling in my leg was replaced with burning pain. My eyes swam with unshed tears. I wasn't sure if the blinding light or the pain was making me cry. My head lolled forward and I vaguely heard the brothers screaming around me.

My eyes struggled to focus on a bulky shape as it slipped toward the door. I blinked and grimaced in pain as I lay backward. My mangled shoulder hit the floor and I hollered in pain, lifting a hand to my mouth to suppress it.

Suddenly I was rising, a weight gently pushing into the undamaged areas of my back and another hooking under my knees. I curled into a ball against the chest of whoever had lifted me. Blood dripped onto my face and I had half a mind to look at where it was coming from – or rather, who it belonged to.

My rescuer coughed from the smoke of the brilliantly white flare. I clenched my eyes shut from the pain and the searing light. Suddenly, the cold air hit my exposed back and I whimpered, clutching tighter onto the swath of fabric under my palm.

"Dean!" I heard Sam shout and pound toward us. "Is she alright?"

"Fuck no, I'm not alright!" I shouted into Dean's shirt. "My leg looks like fucking spaghetti!"

Dean chuckled morbidly and set me down on the hood of the Impala on my stomach, keeping my mangled back and leg clear of the still warm metal. I pressed my elbows to the hood and attempted to prop myself up. He brushed my hair out of my face to get a good look at my feverish eyes and red complexion.

"At least you're alive," he offered weakly and rid himself of his jacket, exposing the brown flannel underneath and pressing it to my leg. I howled and gripped his arm, digging my nails into the soft flesh. "Keep pressure on that," he said before limping towards his brother and father.

"Come on, we don't have much time!" Sam shouted, wrenching one of the back doors of the Impala open and ushering his father inside. John didn't move. "As soon as that flare goes out, they'll be back!"

"Wait, wait. wait! Sam, hold on a second!" Dean shouted, gripping his father's arm to keep him steady. He looked forlornly towards John, a look of regret on his handsome, but bloody, features. "Dad can't come with us..."

"What!?" I screeched from the hood of the car, doing my best to turn and face the boys without causing any more damage. "You've spent months looking for this motherfucker, and now you're telling him to leave!?"

"Dean, what are you talking about!?" Sam demanded, tossing his arms in the air in frustration.

John sighed and pulled his arms from Dean's grasp. He shuffled away from the side of the Impala and walked along its edge to where I sat. "You all are beat to hell," he mumbled out, exhaustion written on his leathery features. He ran a calloused hand through his hair, matted with blood.

"We'll be alright," Dean stated reassuringly.

"Like hell, we are, Dean!" Sam shouted, floundering and dripping blood onto the roof of the car. "We need to stick together! We'll go after those demons-"

"Sam, listen to me!" Dean snapped, cutting his brother off. "We almost got Dad killed in there. Don't you understand? They're not gonna stop. They're gonna try again. They're gonna use us to get to him. I mean, Meg was right. Dad's vulnerable when he's with us. He- he's stronger without us around."

I flinched at the brutality of his words. My head swam with thoughts and profuse pain - wouldn't he be in just as much danger on his own?

 I blinked and my head swam. When my eyes opened again, the edges of my vision were dark and out of focus. I blinked a few more times to refocus on the situation at hand. Focus on the pain after the job. My uncle used to say that a lot, especially when he came home from a rough hunt.

I remembered my first hunt with him – nothing special, just a wendigo that was rampaging through campsites in the Rockies. My hips had gotten cut up pretty bad – I had wanted to call it quits. I felt like I couldn't run, let alone shift and hunt the bastard down.

Focus on the pain later.

Do the job now.

Focus on the pain later.

When I opened my eyes, John was pressing a firm hand to my temple, stemming a flow of blood that I hadn't even realized was escaping. I blinked to clear my eyes and focus on his scruffy visage. His eyes held a certain earnesty and sadness in them. My ears were ringing as he spoke to me.

"Take care of my boys," he said, fear leaking into his voice. "They're all I've got left." I winced at the pounding in my skull and nodded. He smiled softly. "Your uncle would be proud of you."

And with that, he was gone, the only reminder of him being a warm feeling left on my cheek, leaving a tingling sensation in its wake.

—

"I can walk just fine on my own, asshat," I grumbled to a frustrated Sam. I gripped my crutches tightly as I made my way out the hospital door.

"Yeah right," Sam retorted, placing a large hand on my lower back to help guide me towards the car. "The doctors wanted you to stay overnight-"

"Yeah, and what are the doctors going to say when in two days they can't see their patient's bone anymore?" I glowered at Sam. The damage was bad, but not bad enough for me to stay around humans for this long. "I'll be going now, and I'm taking my exposed bone with me, thank you," I snapped as I did my best to shrug on Dean's now shredded coat. This had quickly become my favorite article of clothing, despite it being covered in blood and vomit, and now having deep slash marks down the back. I thought it gave it character.

Sam sighed and ran a hand through his hair, rumpling it. "Dean's not going to be happy when he sees what happened to his coat."

"Dean can suck my metaphorical dick," I hissed. "You said he doesn't wear it anymore anyway - why did he even have it?"

"He uses it for a pillow when we're driving."

"Guess he'll have to get a new pillow then," I said as I used my crutches to propel me forward and towards the Impala. "When is he getting out?"

"He said he'll be discharged in a few minutes," Sam replied as we stopped beside the car. He unlocked the Impala and opened the door for me. "He just has to pay the bill and then we're done."

"You mean some poor sap whose credit card you stole has to pay the bill?" I teased as I attempted to slide my crutches into the car and then sneak in beside them. I hissed as my ankle caught on the edge of the car and I fought to lift my leg without any more pain.

"You alright?" Sam asked from his place by the door.

"Yep, I'm fine," I hummed. "But are you OK? I mean... you didn't seem too happy about... everything..."

Sam laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, I'm fine. I get it, why dad had to leave again. I'm not happy about it, but I'm fine."

I opened my mouth to speak again but was interrupted by Dean limping towards us. "Oh, look who finally decided to show up!" I said, tossing my hands in the air. "And how come they didn't give you crutches!?"

"Because my leg doesn't look like it went through a blender," he sassed. "Listen, we need to get out of here before those Daevas come back. I want to be long gone before they show up here again."

Sam nodded and shut the door on me before sliding into the passenger's seat. I leaned forward and peaked over Sam's shoulder as Dean got into the car. "So where to?"

Dean spun in his seat and propped his elbow up on the back of his chair. He glared pointedly at me. "You are going home. Sam and I will probably rest up for a few days and then go back to hunting."

I frowned. "What, so I get shredded by shadow demons and you guys just toss me?"

Dean laughed. "I don't know what the hell they gave you for the pain, but I'm pretty sure it removed your filter."

"Shut it," I pouted, dropping back into my seat and crossing my arms over my chest. "In my defense, I feel like I just went through a blender. I think I'm allowed some sass, thank you."

"Save it for your family, Clifford," he said, earning a robust laugh from Sam. "You'll be home in..." he checked his watch, "I'd say thirteen or fourteen hours. You can gripe and complain all you want then."

"Or," I said, drawing out the word as I leaned forward, "I could harass you boys the whole way there. Maybe jump out of the car. After all, you guys put me in this situation."

"Woah, wait a minute!" said Dean, holding up a hand as he pulled out of the hospital parking lot. "Last I checked, I told you to stay put."

"Should have barricaded the door, Dean. You should know as well as anyone that I don't listen to anyone but myself."

Dean grumbled as Sam and I laughed, profusely teasing Dean until he finally hushed us by playing some music. Despite the pain in my leg and back, I couldn't help but be filled with joy. Again, I had succeeded in, to put it plainly, not dying while with the boys.

And better yet, I finally felt ready to see my pack again.

[nobodymitskigabriel]

It's like so many of Jack's decisions are colored by naivete or shame. And yes those things are very core to his character but I also feel like the writers were afraid to give him too much unadulterated autonomy because they didn't want to make it seem like Jack would consciously make any sort of "evil" decision.

Like yes killed someone but it was just a freak accident! He trusted Lucifer but he just didn't know any better! He killed Mary but he didn't mean to!! He was feeling overwhelmed and got away from himself :(. He went on a killing spree but he didn't have a soul and was being manipulated by Duma </3.

Even more personal decisions like "choosing" to give up his soul to kill Michael are muddled by the fact that his family was literally up against the wall and he had never been learned to value himself to the point where he'd even consider preserving his soul above his family lives. And "choosing" to become a bomb to kill Chuck because....hello? He was literally so overwhelmed with shame that he'd march himself to slaughter to earn Dean's forgiveness.

I really feel like Jack's character would have benefited a lot from more autonomy bc jfc the cambian Jesse Turner had more autonomy than Jack.

Let's take Sam who was pretty strongly paralleled with Jack in a lot of respects. Yes Sam dealt with manipulation and shame as well BUT in s4 Sam made active decisions like continuing to trust Ruby, use his powers, and drink demon blood. Things that Chuck explicitly said would make him seem "unsympathetic" to the audience. During the whole demon blood arc there were times when the audience wasn't even sure who was telling the truth or who's was in the right. Maybe Ruby is good. Or maybe Sam IS actually going down the dark path.

We as the audience realize that there was a chance Sam never came down from that high. If things were different maybe he could have gotten drafted for Azazel's evil army or Lucifer’s enthusiastic vessel and that's what makes his decision to finally counter "his nature" so powerful. Even after he freed Lucifer, Sam felt ashamed but he still advocated for himself and his decision to jump into the Cage to trap Lucifer again was not colored by a need to have Dean forgive him.

I think this is partly where all the incessantly babying of Jack comes from. Instead of getting to see him deal with any real moral crossroads and come to a decision, he's bombarded by outside forces and "acts out" to the point where his arc is more comparable to an orca than a person.

[alessiathepirate]

Supernatural

A NIGHT IN MISSOULA: Nick x fem!reader

Summary: How it could've turned out if Nick wasn't completely alone...

Notes: English isn't my first language. I apologize for any mistake I may have made while I wrote this short story.

I had to fix his storyline damn it, he deserved so much better!

Warnings: set in season 14, fluff (come on, my man deserves it goddamn it), mentioned death and violence, grief

•••

Her phone's screen illuminated the motel room again, for the fifth time in the last hour.

She lazily raised her head to look at it before laying her head back on the man's chest whose arms were holding her close to his body, as if he was afraid that she'll just disappear. She hugged him tighter, as if to tell him that she'd never go anywhere when she already had him.

Two missed calls from Dean, one from Sam and two from Cas.

Cas and Dean even left voicemails. It was a wonder they haven't made Jody or Donna look for her yet.

"I forgot to check in." she mumbled quietly, afraid that her voice alone could ruin the calm moment they were having - moments like these occured rarely. Very rarely, especially since both of their minds were full of unsolved issues, confusing emotions and grief. "I'll have to call them or they'll get a heart attack and send some hunters after us."

"You'll call them later." Nick's fingers ran along her spine, drawing invisible shapes into her skin here and there. "Please."

She smiled up at him, her heart feeling heavy from his last word alone.

Please - please don't leave; please stay; please, I need you. She felt the same way toward him. She needed him just as much as he needed her - to not go insane, to not break, to be able to enjoy and appreciate the simple things in life.

"They can wait, I suppose." she agreed and let her fingers run along the side of Nick's face and jaw. "We're a long way from home anyway. They wouldn't reach us in time."

They left months, close to a year ago.

Nick wanted justice, he wanted to find the man who murdered his family - and since she had her own demons to fight, her own people to grieve, she knew exactly how he felt.

Nick left first and she followed him, only leaving a short letter behind for her own family, what said 'I found a job - it's personal. Be back soon. Love you all.'. That 'soon' turned into weeks, then months. And as it turned out they needed each other more than the boys needed her.

She reached Delaware just in time to stop Nick from beating the truth out of Arty Nielson - and used that fake FBI badge of hers to figure out what the man saw that night.

After that it went easily. She posed as an FBI agent while Nick stayed himself, and together they were tracking the culprit who turned out to be a demon. Abraxas. They'll get the fucker in Hibbing in a day or two.

Thanks to her presence, Nick managed to keep his cool. He managed to keep his sanity. He managed to realize that there's still someone out there who cares. He managed to slowly, painfully slowly, let go of Lucifer and accept the fact that he found someone to love - who apparently loved him back.

"Y/N?" she looked at him again with a questioning look. "I never really said thank you for what you did for me."

"Nick--" she wanted to begin to argue; wanting to say that he has absolutely nothing to thank - her love and care for him was purely natural.

"No, please let me finish." he interrupted her as his left hand started to play with her hair. "I mean it. Thank you for everything. I'm pretty sure that without you I would've gone crazy. And you didn't have to care or help, I wasn't your responsibility. Sarah and Teddy's case wasn't yours to solve either. But you were there for me, you're still here for me and I just--"

She gently touched his face again.

"You were there for me too, Nick." it was her turn to interrupt him and prove him that she cared. "When I was still grieving my best friend, you were there." her heart still ached when she or anyone referred to Gabriel. "When Jack got sick and I was thousands of miles away from the bunker, you were there. I wasn't your responsibility either, and you are still here for me too."

Nick smiled at her - with a honest smile, without any sadness behind it; with a smile full of adoration.

"I love you, Y/N..."

She felt her heartbeat quicken and it felt like she was having an honest to God heart attack.

They were spending the nights together for a month now, sure. They were even kissing, holding hands and cuddling. They complimented the other's appearance. But saying those three words? That was new, completely new. It was something she knew she was feeling, but was afraid to put into words when Nick was still clearly in a dark place. She thought it might've been too soon.

She let the words sink in - she let them make her heart flutter. She even let them bring tears to her eyes.

"I love you too, Nick."

She pushed herself up onto her elbows and leaned forward so her lips were able to reach his.

Nick was holding her face between his hands as the kiss deepened. It was sweet, slow, full of love - both of them wanted to show the other that they meant what they've said, wholeheartedly.

By the time they broke apart, her phone was ringing again, yet in their happiness they both ignored it.

"Promise me you won't leave me." Nick was begging, pleading as he looked her in the eye. "Please..."

"I won't. Ever." she promised as she smiled down at him. "I'll never leave you."

His fingers were playing with her hair again, when her phone's screen turned on once more. Another missed call.

"Nick?"

"Yeah?" he seemed distracted as he explored every small, hidden detail of her face - her cheeks turned pink from the thought of him finding her beautiful.

"After we're done..." she began slowly, unsurely. "Will you come back to Kansas with me? To say goodbye?"

Nick's hands stopped their exploration as he looked at her - really looked at her - to see if anything was wrong.

"Goodbye?" he asked, confused. "Why would you say goodbye? That place is your home, you're a hunter and--"

"I'm quitting." she stated and there was a strange feeling inside her stomach as she said her thoughts out loud. "Ever since I met Dean I wanted to hunt and live the life he and his family had, but it takes so much... I love the boys and Cas and Jack, but I can't do it anymore." she smiled when Nick started to stroke her side in comfort. "You're my last case. And I want to enjoy the aftermath forever."

The truth was that she couldn't afford losing anyone else. She was sure she wouldn't survive that.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure." she let out a small laugh. "And maybe we can have that 'apple pie life' close to the bunker in case those morons still need my help."

Nick kissed her again, this time with love and passion, and she gladly kissed back. Her hands disappeared in his hair and she was about to leave some of her marks behind on the side of his neck, when her phone began to ring again.

"Talk to them." he said after they unwillingly broke apart. "I'm not going anywhere."

She grabbed her phone with a groan and accepted Cas' call as she lay down next to Nick, grabbing his hand and drawing invisible shapes into his palm.

"Hey, Cas. Sorry I didn't pick up before, I was in the middle of something just now. Is everything okay?"

She was barely listening.

All she could think about was her last case and the man she was willing to give up hunting for.

And she really hoped her found family will accept her decision without wanting to beat the crap out of the man she loved...

[nekoshi13]

You know, there's plenty to complain about wasted potential in characters, wasted story lines and the like but my biggest, hugest gripe with this show (beyond the homophobia but that's a different topic) is how much they wasted every archangel that wasn't Lucifer. And even Lucifer got absolutely butchered in season 15!

We met Raphael for so little that I can even think about what could have been done differently with him. Probably seeing more of the civil war in heaven would have helped both Raphael to feel more like an actual character instead of a figure stick placed to be Castiel's antagonist and Cas himself to not look like the asshole the writers tried to make him look like in s6

Gabriel was an amazing character that, like mostly everyone that wasn't Sam and Dean, deserved way more screen time that he got. But even with what we had, bringing him back in s13 to do absolutely nothing more than make Lucifer cry once and then killing him again was an absolute disservice to the archangel that died in the apocalypse facing his brother for the right reasons. He could have stuck around and if they really didn't want to have the power of an archangel on the side of the good guys then keep him depowered and let him process his trauma instead of healing in like 2 seconds

Michael... where do I even begin with Michael? The most powerful archangel, our Dean parallel in the celestial family, the obedient soldier that was still the nicest he could be to his vessels and I don't think he even had half an hour total of screen time. And let's be clear, I am not counting Apocalypse Michael here, this is about our world Michael, OG Michael. For starters we should have seen way more of him than we did. From season 11 onwards there were so many occasions in which the boys could have at least tried to talk to him AND THEY COULD DO IT but they never even tried. I do however love what they did with him and Adam when they finally left the cage, although I would have been the first one cheering them on if they went for revenge I think what they did makes clear just how different and not actually evil was Michael. I hate that even in the season where we know they are out there we barely see him, I would have loved to see more of his conflict about what his father did, seeing him grieve Adam (friendly or romantic, whatever is good for me at this point) and... well, here comes the biggest bad thing they did to him, I would have loved to see him stand up to his father, Michael deserved to do that, he was one of the angels who got most deeply screwed over by Chuck and he deserved to punch him in the face

And while in that topic... Lucifer. Lucifer was the archangel with the best arc, he was a great villain and the fact that the Mark was what made him like is in the first place made him actually sympathetic, when he told Michael he didn't want to fight him, the whole thing with Chuck I'm season 11 and then he realizing he had been played by his father in season 12 and wanting to prove he could do better was great. I loved what looked like a redemption arc for him because besides Michael, he also got incredibly screwed by their father. I hated that he turned on Jack like he did, I wish that whatever confrontation needed to happen at the end of season 13 would have been more out of being scared of AU!Michael and wanting to protect Jack even if he had to do it forcefully. The fact that Nick was somehow alive after his death was strange as fuck and I wish they had explained how exactly after he looked dead in S5 but regardless, the fact that he wanted Lucifer back I think says something about how he interacts with his vessels (when said vessel doesn't drag him back to his cage, I guess, sorry Sam, I love you). But biggest sin against him was how he went right back to Chuck like a dumbass in s15. S12 Lucifer, my beloved, he would never. He deserved to punch Chuck as much as Michael, I wish they had teamed up and punched Chuck together. Bet two archangels fighting god would have charged up Jack faster and would not have been as ridiculous as two humans being beaten up by god and being just mildly hurt at the end, they could still stand...

Anyway, the archangels deserved better, thanks for coming to my tedtalk

[ranwing]

So... how much of a clusterfuck was The Winchesters finale?

A massive one, in my humble opinion. This show turned out to be a classic bait and switch. It got sold to the audience as one thing, but with the conclusion turned out to be something else completely.

Let's just start off with the biggest issue - the story of John and Mary and how their love saved the world? Complete bullshit. John and Mary had nothing to do with the final conclusion of the series. They were not even the John and Mary that we grew to know and have deeply conflicted feelings about. They were an alternate version, existing in one of the many alternate universes that Chuck liked to play with. They weren't Sam and Dean's parents and might not ever come to have a Sam and/or Dean of their own.

This is, IMO, exceedingly sloppy writing. We knew from the very start that this was the most likely scenario, as there was no way that TW would fit in with original SPN cannon without massive retcons so this allowed the writers to basically thrown cannon into the shredder because nothing mattered. They could screw around with the mythology and do whatever they wanted because it's an alternate universe. As a writer, this pisses me off because even when writing AUs, there need to be some ground rules to connect with the premise of the original series. This just gave them an out for poor research and sloppy writing.

Which brings us to another major problem. How was there an alternate universe for Dean to play around in when we were told in the final season of SPN that Chuck had destroyed every reality except for the one that our Sam and Dean existed in. Unless Jack went out of his way to create a universe for Dean to jump into, there was no way for this to work with SPN lore. If Jack was now God and could fix all of the damage Chuck had done, why didn't he just deal with the Akrida? Why did Dean need to step in to protect the reality that Sam was currently still living in?

Then we have the biggest issue and that was how Dean was used. Or rather, Jensen since there wasn't a whole lot of Dean there. When the series was first announced and Jared's/Sam's fans were livid that he was being completely excluded from the series (and hadn't even been told that Jensen was ready to move ahead with it before the announcement was made), we were assured that this was all about John and Mary and that Dean would be, at most, a passive narrator. That Jared wasn't deliberately excluded and all would make sense. Well, it did make sense that we were lied to. Whether they realized that trying to make the show about John and Mary just wasn't resonating with the audience and tossing Dean into a more active role was something of a hail Mary, or this was the plan all along, Dean ended up being not just the McGuffin, but the hero of the story. He gets to save the day and all of reality.

This makes it painfully clear that this show wasn't about trying to explore other stories in the SPN universe. This was about Jensen's ego. That he was still upset that his character wasn't the last man standing, even when he admits that narratively it made more sense for Sam to be. This was about giving him the opportunity to be the big solo hero without having to share screen time with Jared. I can't say whether this was what Jensen and CM had originally planned or whether it became necessary to salvage the lackluster storyline, but it turned out to be an empty exercise of hubris and ego.

And I'm sorry, but trying to excuse Sam's erasure by having Dean claim that he was doing this because he had "family" in his own verse (who he couldn't even bring himself to call by name) was a cheap cop out. It doesn't make up for how Jensen and Dannell acted when putting this mess together and how he treated Jared. It was a slap in the face to the majority of the SPN audience, who watched because we loved both the brothers.

If there is any justice in the universe, the network will see this as the failure that it was and that the SPN legacy should never have been put in the hands of an inexperienced production company or when one of the leads is deliberately excluded. TW does not in any way warrant or need a second season and this should been tossed away a the failed experiment that it was.

Sorry Jensen, but you shat the bed. This dumpster fire is all on you.

[spnyouresostupid]

Suptober One Shot

So I didn't have another pumpkin picture to share, so I though I would share this one shot I wrote last year for the Harvest prompt, there's a pumpkin patch so I thought that works! (If you see this posted on AO3 under superherogrl, yes that's me it's my fic)

Suptober23 day 2 part 2 - Pumpkin Patch

Family Corn Maze Trip

Going to the farmers market was one thing, he actually got some really good stuff there and he liked talking to some of the vendors. But this...

This was one step too far.

"A corn maze? Come on Cas that's so...lame." Dean made a face at him from across the kitchen table.

"Dean, Jack's really excited about it, and you know how fussy he gets when you don't come to things like this."

"God powers, and he's gonna cry over me not wanting to get lost in a field?" He grumbled. He knew Cas was right, their 3 year old, that used to be 20 something, and is currently The God of all creation (Dean still couldn't quite wrap his mind around that) wanted Dean to come on all the little outings Cas planned. He wanted to hold Dean's hand and show Dean every little interesting rock along the way. He wanted Dean to pick him up when he got tired, (it took Dean a few months to realize that Jack didn't get tired and just wanted to be held) and just be close to him.

"Good, I'm glad you understand we'll leave at 11." Cas said standing and kissing the top of Dean's head, before going to get Jack around for the day. Dean scowled at his back, and thought in disbelief how is this my life?

*****************

"Looking at the map is cheating, Cas." Dean said after they walked into a dead end. Cas rolled his eyes.

"If you say so."

"Can you see anything up there, Bud?" Dean asked Jack, who was sitting on his shoulders.

"I see all things." He said, very matter of fact. Mostly he talked like a regular 3 year old. Then every once in while he'd say some weird shit like that.

"I meant can you see over the corn stalks." Dean tried again.

"Yeah! That way!" He shouted, pointing left.

"How is using Jack not cheating?" Cas asked in an accusing tone that Dean did not appreciate.

"It's not, because we're here for him anyway." Dean said, sure enough the end was now in sight. Cas just smiled and shook his head. Once out of the maze Dean set Jack down and he immediately ran over to where the pumpkins were. "Pick out a good one for us!" Dean called after him. Dean put his arm around Cas and he leaned his head on Dean's shoulder.

"So, pumpkin carving is okay?" Cas asked, watching Jack touch every single pumpkin in reach.

"Yeah, scary pumpkins and knives? What's not to like?"

"We are not giving Jack knives." Cas said emphatically. Even though it was impossible for Jack to hurt himself, they still tried their best to treat him like a regular kid. Then Dean spotted Jack bringing them a pumpkin almost as big as he was, carrying it with no problem. Both men rushed over and Dean took the thing from him, crouching down to speak to him.

"Hey, remember Buddy, no picking up heavy things in public." He said gently but slightly panicked. He looked around to see if anyone noticed.

"Sowy daddy." Jack said tilting his chin down like he did when he was in trouble. Dean though was focused on that one word. Cas was daddy, Dean was Dean. Jack never called him that before. He couldn't believe it. Was he daddy now too? Dean smiled so wide that it made Jack give him a big toothy grin too.

"You don't have to be sorry, it's okay. Let's buy this pumpkin and head home, alright?" He said passing the pumpkin to Cas, who also lifted it one handed like it weighed nothing.

"Yeah!" Jack reached out for Dean to carry him. He obliged, settling him on his hip and pressing a kiss to his sandy blond hair. Cas in turn pressed a kiss to his cheek and one to Dean's too.

Dean walked with his son in his arms, and Cas' arm around his waist. Dean smiled to himself and thought in awe how is this my life?